Twisted Scars and Broken Promise's
by Mad about Skittles
Summary: Secrets. lies. Old wounds that don't heal. Alec has dark - almost forgotten - secrets, but an old friends lies and a new kids strong heart start breaking him down slowly. Magnus is the kid everyone is talking about, and one chance meeting changes his whole life. AU - all human, Magnus/Alec, Isabellle/Simon, Jace/Clary. rated T because im cautious.
1. My lie, and your Beginning

**A/N:This is my first try at writing a true fanfiction, so please be nice to me :)**

** For this fic to really be written, I got a lot of help from Cersanthamum, who without her, i probably wouldn't have written a half decent fic :)**

** *The mortal instrument does not belong to me, never will***

**(Grammar and spell checked – 28/7/12) **

**(Double cheacked 17/11/12)**

_** Twisted scars and broken promises**_

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_Chapter 1: My lie and your Beginning._

* * *

My feet fell into the water with a tiny splash, making a small 'plop' sound. My raven coloured hair fell into my cerulean eyes, and my pale skin glowed under the rays of sun; I sighed. My phone vibrated in my black jeans pocket; I fished it out with skill, hoping to not drop it into the pale still lake that was below me.

**WHERE R U!**

I laughed humorously; why do they care, they never have before. _Wait...wasn't there a..._ I didn't bother answering; quickly putting my iPhone back into my pocket again. My careful watching eyes looked into the maya blue water, which didn't move, even when the old willow trees long sad branches swayed and swashed the water. The barely setting sun peaked through the branches of the old lake; I saw a shadow move across the water. My body tensed, and I pulled my legs out of the water crossing them. I heard a soft sigh, and I looked over towards the intruder, ready to yell at them; my entire being softened at who it was. Her inky hair hung down in dark ringlet that swayed in the soft - barely noticeable - breeze, the sun pressing kisses to her tanned skin.

"Why are you here again Alec?"

Her soft gentle voice whispered the wind picked up a bit and swayed the willow trees; I hardly heard her.

"You know why I'm here, Izzy',"

My voice came out as a strangled, choked sound; I hated it. My sister played with the hem of her brown cardigan. Her face contorted with worry, and she looked towards the entrance. When she looked back at me; she sat beside me on the grassy bank, resting her head on my broad shoulder, and sighed softly.

"Do you think this year will be better than the last one?"

I looked into her big hazel eyes. I didn't want to lie to my sister; the only person who knew who I really was, but I didn't want to hurt her by telling the truth. I gave her the best answer I could without hurting her:

"I dunno Iz', I don't know,"

I knew it wasn't the answer she wanted to hear, but it was the best I could supply her with. Her perfect face gained a crease on her forehead, she only did this when she was annoyed or upset, I left it be. It was my last year of high school, and I was going to try the best I could...for her; she needed a brother to look up to, so did Max, and Jace. I carried on with that train of thought, and panicked.

"Did you tell Jace?"

The panic in my voice was visible, and my body tensed and moved, so that her head fell off my shoulder; she grumbled something like 'ducking grass mole' and reassured me that everything was fine. I got up, and held my calloused hand out to her, and her sun kissed silky smooth hand took mine; we got up and we walked away from my sanctuary.

* * *

After driving my sister home and gracing the rest of my family with my presence for half an hour; walking back out the house was the fun part. My mother yelled after me, and_ he _told me to leave. My lips pulled into a small satisfied smirk; I looked in the mirror of my car and giggled. I turned up my iPod, and sang off-key to Beyoncé, Love on Top. It was my guilty pleasure...as well as Adam Lambert. I kept giggling and snorting throughout the whole of the song, but as I got nearer and nearer to the 'Party location' I switched my music off, and put their techno crap on, and turned it down low.

Walking up to the 'Party location' - which was really and old abandoned barn, which a woman 'apparently' hung herself in. My stomach curled into knots, and I cringed; it was always like this: the same nervous feeling, the same headache, the same desire to run away. I swallowed the bile that rose in my throat, and the temptation to run away. I painfully slipped into 'Alec Bad boy', the pulse of 'Innocent high' made the walls vibrate and shake, and I slipped inside without a single fear.

"Alec!"

A chorus of my name worked its way through my small gang of friends, the girl's coming up to me and giving me hugs, but the other guys never understood why. I happily told the girls I was gay...the guys...I was terrified to tell them, but I think they guessed. Sebastian and Jonathan both gave me a manly hug, and I laughed.

"I leave for a few weeks and already you guys miss me," I joked, Seb' and Jon' playfully punched me on the shoulder; knowing why I haven't been around town this summer, and we gave each other wolfish grins.

When I thought back to the conversation with me sister; I felt sick. I lied to her; I can't make her junior year any better, than I made her freshman, or sophomore.

* * *

**(MaGnUs. PoV)**

I woke up with a start in the middle of the night; the sweat dripping on my forehead, and running lazily down my back. The room was undesirably cold, and I violently shivered; I blinked back the tears, and I silently prayed my roommate didn't hear. I've only been here since the start of summer, and I was still having nightmares...and they were all the same. I rested my head on my knees and let the tears cascaded hotly against my cheeks. Sobs rattled my weak chest and I sat like that for what seemed like an eternity. It was just a little past three AM; I knew I couldn't go back to sleep, so I got up out of the warm canary yellow bed sheets, grabbed my clothes for the day and got dressed. I put my make up on quite soft and barely noticeable, yet smothered myself in my precious glitter. I collected myself in the bathroom, and became ready to face what ever happened today.

I quickly and quietly made my way downstairs. After rummaging around a bit in the fridge; I finally found a yogurt, and it was my favourite: Mango and pineapple.

"Magnus dude, where are you?"

I gave a small smile; Ragnor was up. Finally.

"In the kitchen, with a bowl of fruit loops for you,"

Ragnor came rushing through the entry way, and towards the kitchen at full speed. I laughed a little, and he gave me a big childish grin. He sat at the table and shovelled food into his mouth quickly; you would think that boy hadn't eaten for a month. I laughed again, and was thankful it was Ragnor that was always up after me, not Jordon or Raphael. I couldn't stand Raphael's' homophobic slurs, and jibs about Simons geeky glasses, or Jordon's' quietness around me and Ragnor.

"You know Mags', I know something you don't!"

He walked right up in front of me, and stuck his tongue out; we both burst out laughing. I was really glad it was him and not anyone else. He sat back down, and started eating more slowly; I was taking small spoon-fulls of my yogurt. Ragnor looked at me, and I shrugged my shoulders at him; we were like that, we didn't need to talk. "Did you have another...you know?" He made a face and a gesture with his bright green spoon. My face became downcast, and I frowned. Yes, I did, but I'm not going to elaborate about what was about; no one knew about my nightmares, besides Simon, and Ragnor. I gave the boy who sat across from me a small smile.

"Yeah I did. This time I didn't wake Simon up, so that's progress!"

* * *

We were about to leave for the school that we were already late for, and I forgot to grab my diary. I told Ragnor to go ahead of me, and I ran into mine and Simons' room, and in record time grabbed it. Once I had it safely inside my shoulder bag; I ran out the front door as fast as my legs could carry me. I ran up the steps up, going two at a time, towards my personal hell; as it looked more and more hopeless on getting to school on time. I started running faster; I was the new kid, I was late, I was very, very worn out. That didn't really matter; all that did though was getting up these stupidly long steps towards Bellcourt Academy; School for the rich and famous, snobby rich kids...or a small few who actually worked hard to get into the Academy. I was in such a rush that I actually tripped up a step; I picked myself up off the ground and started to see the school peek above the mountain of steps. The big complex intimidating, even the most brave. It tooled more like a church, than a school; time for my first day at Snob kid central.

* * *

**A/N: I know this is short, and not very good. I'm only 13 gimme a little break. :) Next chapter will be up in a few days, and I will make it longer, and more Magnus based; unless you guys think otherwise?**

_Sneak peak:_

_I got a text book from the back of the class, as I made my way to the only available seat, only to get tripped up by the creepy guy with the Mohawk and the bridge piercing, I tumbled forward only to fall into a pair of strong leather clad arms..._

Tell me what you think, and any suggestions would be love and really helpful :) xxxxx

**ReViEw?**

~ Sarah


	2. Welcome to your first day in hell!

**Hey guyz and gurls :)**

**Just want to thank all the people who have read my story! (I probably wouldn't be typing so fast. lol) but thank you :)**

**Special thanks to a guest reviewer, who has given me more ideas, and a way to tie all the characters together. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! :D**

**(Grammer and spell checked 28/7/12)** **  
**

**"Updated and changed (23/11/12)  
**

**AN: The mortal Instruments don't belong to me.**

_**Twisted Scars and Broken Promises**_

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**_Chapter 2: Welcome to Hell!_**

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**(Magnus pov.)**

There was people everywhere; dressed in ironed trousers and blazers with the hand sown school logo, dress shirts, - probably made of silk - the girls were all prime and proper, apart from their short skirts. I became instantly worried. I stuck out like a sore thumb; I didn't know where I was going, or what I was supposed to be doing. I silently thanked all the bullies who chased me, at least I could run fast. My hand slowly slipped off the blue metal railing; that was in the middle of the freakishly long stairs to that lead to the school. It was just liked I had dreamed...and a little bit more. I knew Aline who volunteered to look after us would be very proud.

Large roups of boys were huddled in several corners of the expanse of the court yard; laughing and play fighting. There were girls in large posses; giggling and spreading gossip. Out the corner of my eye I saw this one girl, she was - by the looks of it - being ordered to get down on all fours; her wavy red hair falling into her face. This blonde girl sat on her, and I felt bad for her, but I was still trying to suppress my giggles; that threatened to escape._ It was this kind of school...great_. A bell rang out somewhere in the school, and kids walked towards their allocated classrooms. I stood there dumbstruck and confused. A hand tapped me on the shoulder, and I almost jumped out of my skin; I turned and gave the person my personal 'bitch glare'.

"Woah! Calm down tiger, I'm not gunna' hurt you,"

The guy; who looked kind of cute, looked a little hurt that I flinched away from his touch, but he wouldn't have understood what it was like.

"Was it that obvious?"

I asked half-heartedly; half scared, and half interested as to what this stranger wanted to say.

"No - he stopped himself, and his face contorted into thought. I almost laughed; if it wasn't for the fact that he looked so deep in thought - but with the whole flinching thing, that gave the game away!" He declared, with a wink.

"Do you know where...?" I trailed off pointing a funger into the direction of the school.

"Oh crap! Yeah, I remember now, come on; don't want you late on your first day!"

The guy, grabbed my hand and I remembered that I didn't even know his name, I laughed while we were running. We turned corners, went down empty corridor, and held my hand the whole way.

"Just wait here, the teacher will give you everything," He smiled and started to walk away, I laughed and quickly remembered something. I turned towards his slow retreating figure, and yelled:

"My names Magnus, by the way!"

"I know;I'm Adam."

Adam walked off to his already started class, and I stood dumbly in the small cramped office; the chipped green paint glared at me, and I huffed a nervous laugh. I sat down on the hard wooden bench. I didn't have any books to read, and I didn't have a mobile phone to play on yet. I looked around, and my eyes focus on the marks on the bench I sat on. I smirked when I saw names carved into the wood: James, Tom, Sebastian, Camille, Nathan, Al...

"Magnus Bane?"

A short pudgy woman called, I gave her a fake warm smile and followed her into her office.

"Do you know where you are going? Do you even know what your first lesson is, dear?"

I held in a giggle, and told her 'No, I didn't know where I was going' and 'No, I don't know what lessons I've got' I would have snapped at her, but she seemed nice enough, and it wasn't her fault no one told me. She printed off my timetable, gave me my one book, a late pass, and directions to my first lesson of the day. I could tell that she couldn't wait for me to leave her office. Walking down the deserted hallway; I shivered internally. I walked toward the classroom where my first lesson was; I took a deep breath before I turned the gleaming handle. The light reflected off the metal, and intimidated me. My heart sped up.

I opened the door to a tall, lean, slightly tanned woman. She gave me a small glare and I visibly gulped; the whole class laughed.

* * *

**(I'm going to slip a bit of Alec pov. just for you people :)**

I tapped my heavily chewed pencil on the desk; my eyes looking at the clock from underneath my curtain of dark hair. _Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock_. Mrs Sladd droned on about something to do with the Civil war. A paper ball landed in front of my cloth clad arm; I wrote 'piss off' and then threw it back to Sebastian; unlike him I actually liked this subject, and I tried to pay attention as much as I could...no matter how impossible it was. I opened my new book to the first page, and wrote 'The Civil war' in my delicate, neat handwriting. I brushed my hair out of my eyes even though I knew it would just fall back into them, and began to write, anything and everything about the Civil war.

I hardly noticed that the class had gone quiet - too engrossed in my work - and gave a sharp wince when the whole class laughed. The noise shocked me; I looked up sharply and was blinded by the guy standing awkwardly in the entry way. He was the most beautiful guy I had ever seen, I had to stop myself from dropping my jaw. The guy was tall, and slightly muscular, with long Black hair with some parts of it dyed gold; he had glitter everywhere, and if it was wore on anyone else, it would look stupid...but on him, he made it work. I swore he gave Edward Cullen a run for his sparkles.

* * *

(**Magnus pov.)**

With the first step into the room; I instantly disliked each and every person in the room. I walked up to the teacher's desk and gave her a tiny timid smile; I wanted to make a good first impression, but I was terrified inside. I gave her the late pass, and she told me what to do in hushed whispers. I glanced over at the class on more than one occasion. I only really noticed two people out of the small number of them that sat at their desks looking bored. One of the two had a brightly a coloured Mohawk and a bridge piercing; the other person had long blonde hair that fell in waves over her shoulders. I may have stared at her a bit too long because she winked at me; I soon realized she was the girl from before who bullied that other girl. I returned my gaze to the teacher just as she had finished her speech.

I shuffled to the back of the classroom to collect a new book. Everyone's gaze followed my lean figure, and I huffed a sigh; had they not seen a guy wearing glitter before? I grabbed a book, and a text book as I made my way to the only available seat. The guy with the Mohawk put his leg out , I walked right into it. I tumbled forward; put my hands in front of me, bracing myself for the fall, but instead I fell into a pair of strong leather clad arms encircling my waist, and a well-defined chest under my hands. My first reaction was to run, but I dared to look up...and into the most indescribable blue eyes that connected with my covered contact lensed ones. It felt like it was just me and this guy; the shock was visible in his features. I felt his hold tighten, and I never wanted him to let go. As quickly as his shock came, it left just as fast. He let go and sat back down at his desk, and I walked to mine - with my legs like jelly - and sank down into the plastic. The class was much quieter after that.

"The Civil war happened between a span of four years, 1861 to 1865, it was between The Union and The Confederacy it was..."

I stopped listening, surprisingly, in the span of entering the classroom to sitting down, I have been laughed at, tripped up, and held ever so gently and strongly; maybe it's not hell after all, maybe in some secret way, I've made it to heaven.

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**A/N: I promised you that it would be longer! Haha (; But it isn't :( It seemed like I was writing and I wasn't goin anywhere. I'm happy with this chapter, so hopefully it is good!**

**Next chapter, should it be Alec or Magnus, or both?**

_Sneak peak:_

_His eyes, looked like they were peering into my soul, I wanted to look away, but was finding it impossible to. He broke eye contact first, passed me my book, and walked away without a word... _

**Tell me what you think, any suggestions would be a love and really helpful :) xxxxx**

**Review? :3**

**~ Sarah  
**


	3. Me, You and Him

**AN: The Mortal instruments aren't mine!**

* * *

Chapter 3: Me, You and Him

* * *

Class had ended, and the guy who held me so tightly didn't even look at me. The blonde girl brushed past me, turned her head and gave me a wink, I got my books together and swiftly walked out of the class room, my head swam with thoughts of the mysterious guy with midnight black hair and shockingly blue eyes, I was so consumed by my thoughts, I walked straight past Adam and didn't even hear him shouting, until he was right in front of me. He waved his hands in front of my face and I blankly stared at him and blinked.

"You okay Magnus?"

I swallowed, my mouth was as dry as sand paper, I tried to speak, but settled for nodding. Adam shook his head, but didn't say anything else. We walked in a comfortable silence in amongst the crowd of colourful students. The world was going slow, everything seemed to be in slow-motion, my head felt heavy, and the whispers, curious looks and shouts of 'Fag' and 'fairy' didn't seem to bother me as much; when we stopped at my locker, Adam was looking more worried and nervous then he was five minutes ago, I gave him a 'tell me what is going on' look, but he just shrugged. He gave me my locker combination, and I quickly stuffed my books inside, not caring about the order.

* * *

Adam led me to our second lesson - AP Biology - and told the teacher I was new, and sorted out everything, while I looked across the space of the large lab room, trying to find _him._ After looking all over the room - probably - a thousand times, I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd kept in. The teacher gave me a broad smile, and handed me my book, I thanked her, and walked away and took my seat next to Adam.

"Okay class, today - since this is your first lesson this semester - we will do a brief introduction, on Anatomy and Physiology..."

The teacher trailed off on the speech, but my concentration broke when Adam groaned beside me, I gave him an annoyed look, and mouthed _'What?_' he shook his head with a small grin and mouthed back: _'I love this subject but I always get mixed up with the terminology'_ I gave him a _'you're kidding me'_ look, and returned my gaze back at the teacher who was still explaining what anatomy and physiology is. My head fell into my hand, and I zoned out completely.

"Mr Bane, would you like to explain to the class what each term is and how you study it, please?"

My head slipped out of my hand almost hit the wooden table, if it wasn't for my standing up so quickly. A couple of girls in the far right corner giggled, and I rolled my eyes. Adam wrote on his book _'Explain what anatomy and physiology is, how we study as well'_ I took a deep breath and confidently answered:

"Anatomy is the study of structure and we study is by a lot of ways, and, err...Physiology is the study of functions and we study it by the organ system and stuff."

The teacher gave me a look of awe, and some of the pupils gave me a 'what the hell' looks from across the room, I laughed, sat down and class carried on like nothing happened.

* * *

Me and Adam were laughing about Biology when we entered the canteen; I had no curious glances, or hateful words thrown my way. We grabbed some food and sat down at a table, I wasn't really fussed about anything, Adam dug into his large burger and fries, while I sat and slowly ate some fries. I heard my name and turned around to see Ragnor, happy to see him, I hugged him, and then we sat down.

"Ragnor this is Adam, Adam this is Ragnor!"

I introduced Adam and Ragnor excitedly, happy that I had my best friend with me every lunch, and my new friend practically every day. We ate in a comfortable silence. Near the end of lunch, the atmosphere started getting tense; yelling was heard from the table nearest the hallway, I gulped and dared having a look at what was going on.

It wasn't anything unusual; a bunch of tough looking guys all huddled in a corner with their perfectly styled perfect hair, their expensive in-fashion clothing, that wasn't anything special, what caught my eye, and made me not look away, was the guy in the middle of the group smirking and obviously cracking jokes that made the other laugh loudly, his raven hair falling carelessly into his beautiful eyes. That was what caught my eye, and kept me entrapped, I urged my head to turn back towards my meal, but it didn't move. The guy brushed his hair out of his face; our eyes met and something happened between us in those three seconds, which I can't really explain.

* * *

**Alec pov. :)**

Lunch had just started, and I quickly made my way to the back of the school for a quick smoke - I hated it, but it calmed me down - after I smoked something that wasn't a cigarette, I was thoroughly calmed down, I half walked-half ran towards the canteen, where my group was waiting for me. Running around the school I felt like a little kid again; running in school, with not a fear in the world, playing tag with my brother and sister, but this was high school, and I'm not seven anymore. Running down the corridor towards the canteen, people moved out of my way, in fear of getting beaten up, or knocked over. I chuckled a bit at that thought but came skidding to a halt, just outside. I caught my breath, and slowly, sluggishly, waltzed inside the canteen with my signature smirk firmly in place on my pale face.

When I finally made an appearance to my friends, the regular chorus rang throughout the group, I pushed past a couple of people, and sat on the table I the middle of group.

"Where were you dude?"

Sebastian half growled, half asked. I gave him a glared and spat:

"None of your fuckin' business,"

He looked startled by that, but must have noticed my pupils were a little off and just nodded at me, and sat beside me. We all started planning our next party, until a ginger girl past our group with my brother right behind her. I laughed at that and Seb' shouted:

"Hey' Ginger! How'd you get my Jace to be your bitch? I've been trying for ages!"

The group laughed and I gave Jace a sympathetic look, which he just nodded to. I chuckled lightly, but Jon' came up behind me and patted me on the back. I gave him a grateful smile, and he was about to slap Sebastian around the head, but Camille got there before him, the feud between my brother and my best friend, was starting to piss me off, but I was glad I was here to tell Jace off and Jonathon was here to slap his cousin around the head. We kept laughing, and making jokes, throughout the rest of lunch, nearer the end we got really loud and I was a lot happier.

* * *

I knew someone was looking at me though, but I didn't know who. I looked out towards the crowd, and spotted a beautifully tanned, cat eyed person staring right back at me. Time literally stopped - it was just me and him. Everything else seemed to fade and become blurred around the edges. He knew I had noticed him, and I knew he had noticed me. Unspoken words, and new found feelings were spoken in the three seconds our eyes locked, and then he looked away, and continued eating whatever he was eating. He had my interest, and complete attention, Camille saw this and threw a paper ball that collided with my head, then fell into my hands, I opened it up and saw that in Camille's' scruffy squashed together handwriting was two words:

_Magnus Bane_

I looked over towards his table, a boy with long spiked black and blue hair, was chatting happily with _Magnus_, who sat there smiling and occasionally nodding his head. I thought of his name and it brought butterflies in my stomach and made my chest tighten, I clenched my fists and grinded my teeth in hatred. It wasn't aimed at _Magnus_, it was aimed at the boy who I loved and got kicked in the dirt by: _Adam Vincient_.

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**A/N: Tadaa! Finally I upload a new chappy huh? Haha, it's the start of my school holiday, and I've been chillaxing! But will have more chapters - hopefully - soon for you all beautiful readers!**

**Not too happy with this chapter, but whatever, hope it made you guyz happy :D **

**Sneak peak:**

_I timidly grabbed his hand, happy that I had accomplished that. He tugged me forward, I tripped but landed safely in his arms, I snuggled into them a little, and he kissed me on my head. I was so happy that he was fine with it..._

**Ohhhhhhh...! Spooky huh? Bet you want to know what I'm on about...well you'll have to wait**

**Happy reading!**

**Ideas, pov. Changes, things that happen later in the story; they're controlled by you peeps!**

**So, REVIEW! ;) Xxxxx**

**Sarah, xxx**

**(Grammer, and spelling all checked 28/7/12)**


	4. Freshman year

**(Everything in italics is in the past, everything in normal is...Well... normal ;)**

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Chapter 4: Freshman year

* * *

_Casually walking up the stupidly long steps toward Bellcourt Academy, it was near the end of the year, and Homecoming decorations were everywhere you looked. I jogged up the steps and entered the school. My sparkling blue eyes instantly sought out the most handsome, most gorgeous guy in school - in my eyes. My baggy sweater covered my hands and I started to chew on the sleeve, I was nervous, I knew that, and anybody who walked past would know that. They didn't know why though; I was going to ask my best friend to the Homecoming dance._

_The throng of people was thick and compact in the corridors, I shoved and pushed freshmen and upper-class men alike out of my way. My long hair fell into my eyes and I didn't bother pushing it out the way, rounding a corner I looked at my watch, and I ran faster, No! I'm late for class! I ran into the classroom with seconds to spare, I skidded to my seat, and let out a long breath when I sat down. I turned my head to the side, and gave a bright smile to my best friend: Adam Vincient._

_Class went agonisingly slow, but all that kept me awake was the boy sitting next to me. He nudged me and made a joke about Shakespeare, we laughed and the teacher glared at us, we high fived under our table and then the bell rang; we grabbed our backpacks and bolted out the classroom._

* * *

_"Wanna' bunk next lesson?"_

_Adam wiggled his eyebrows, and I giggled out a 'yes' and he pointed to the dance gym. I timidly grabbed his hand glad I had accomplished that and he ran ahead of me, dragging me into the dance gym; pushing me up against the gyms mirrors his mouth fell on mine. We kissed for a few seconds before I pushed Adam away gently. We breathed out a sigh of happiness. It was perfect like this...out little secret. Adam moved his hands from where they rested on the wall above my head and he rested them on my waist, my eyes fluttered open, and I came face to face with his hypnotic green eyes. I dove forward and captured his rough lips in a sweet, tender kiss. My heart swelled every time we did something every other couple did, but I couldn't help the small fear in the back of my mind._

_I broke the kiss, and blurted out:_

_"Will you go to homecoming with me?"_

_Adam looked at me with a hint of pure awe, and hesitation of fear. He shook his head, and my heart started to tear slowly in half; I flinched a bit, but other than that, I didn't say anything. I got out of his encircled arms, and sat down leaning on the opposite wall from him. I grabbed my backpack at the side of me and began to write my essay that was due tomorrow. _

* * *

It was seven words I instantly regretted; between school work, keeping the secret that I'm gay from my family, and secretly dating Adam, I'd didn't know why I kept thinking about it. I wanted Adam to be the first guy - my first anything - to have my heart, and someone I could be trustworthy to. I was so _naive_ back then; I was so _shy_, so _childish_. Yeah, it was my first year of high school, but shouldn't I have been more grown up?

* * *

**(Start of freshman year)**

_My eyes opened with enthusiasm as to what the day held for me. It was the first day of my high school experience. My whole body buzzed with energy, and I hopped out of bed for a shower, and then I raced down stairs for breakfast. The smell of freshly made pancakes invaded my nose, and I walked to the kitchen table, sitting next to Robert, my Dad. My Dad for some reason - I didn't know - was dressed in a finely pressed blue and grey stripped suit, sipping his coffee like it was tea. I laughed a little, and Jace, my adoptive little brother nudged me and mouthed: 'What is so funny Al'?' He rubbed his eyes in a cute adorable way, and I shook my head mouthing for him to not worry. Mum walked in with two plates full of pancakes, and mine, Dad', Jace' and Max' mouth all opened wide in anticipation of Mums' mouth-watering, special pancakes. When the plates hit the table we all dived for them, like vultures wanting a piece of dead meat; grabbing the top one, I shoved it harshly onto my plate and went back for another one, but Mum glared at me and lectured me and Jace:_

_"One pancake at a time, we don't want you all getting fat, and that includes you Robert. Leave some for your sister boys!"_

* * *

It was like any other normal day for the family, Robert and Maryse woke up, Maryse cooked breakfast while Robert read the paper, Jace woke up, then me, then Isabelle, then little Max would shuffle downstairs. My life back then was_ perfect_. I had a perfect family, and then during the school year, I had the perfect boyfriend; that changed the night of the Homecoming dance.

* * *

**(End of Homecoming)**

_It was finally the end of the Homecoming dance, and like other people we were slightly drunk - on the spiked punch - and like other couples we snuck away were no one else could see us; I said that my house was free and he accepted to crashing at my house. When no one was looking, Adams' slightly larger hand clasped mine and tugged me into a run. We ran to my house laughing and holding hands all the way - never wanting to let go. I opened the white front door with my house key and pulled Adam inside, we made pop-corn and watched a couple of Star Wars films, but all the way through we would sneak kisses, and soft words. It was my perfect first Homecoming dance, and I loved it; until my parents came home. _

_In the dim light of the TV I kissed Adam, my parents opened the front door in that same instant and had a clear view of the living room. My mother put her hand to her mouth and held in a sob I knew was trying to escape, Adam pushed me off and shouted:_

_"Ew! Yuck, Alec you freak! Why the hell did you kiss me?"_

_My Dad's face was completely blank; there was no flicker of any emotion on the face I had become familiar with. I gave a panicked look towards Adam, who just looked angry. Adam pushed me away, and glared at me before running out the house, my mother chased after him and probably asked him if he wanted a ride home. My first love broke my heart for the first time. I looked up toward my father, and he cast hateful looks at me, he walked straight past me and didn't acknowledge my existence, I followed him and that was a big mistake, my father stood in the kitchen with a cup of tea, sipping it gently._

_"Dad?"_

_"..." _

_I was met with complete silence; my big secret had been revealed, by something I wish had never happened. I went to speak again to my father, but he just put his cup down and slapped me across my face. After his hand had made contact to flesh, I instantly felt the sting of pain; my hand ached to touch the mark and sooth the burning on my cheek, my eyes stung trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape, one stray tear fell over my cheek. My father stared blankly at me, like I was there but he wasn't really seeing me, I brokenly stared back at him._

_"Go to you room Alexander, and don't you dare tell your mother about this."_

_It sounded like a death sentence, I trudged up the green carpeted stair case, tears rolling over my cheeks and staining the carpet as I walked. I had no thoughts, feelings or soft timid Alec, something broke when he hit me, something broke within me when my mother just ran out the house when she caught me kissing a boy, I broke into a thousand tiny pieces and I realised that my family, my life, and me wasn't so perfect after all._

* * *

A hand collided with the back of my skull, my defence mechanism was to punch whoever slapped the back of my head, and my fist made contact with the side of Sebastians face, who yell an 'Ow fuck!' I turned around fully, and noticed there wasn't anyone in the classroom apart from us; I blinked a couple more times and thought _'What the hell is going on?'_

"Err, guys, where is everyone?'

I gave them a very confused question and they all burst out laughing, I sounded about six saying it like I did, and I laughed as well.

"Dum ass! What were you thinking about that was so important?'

I was quiet at that, but muttered a 'nothing' never-the-less, Sebastian noticed and gave me a grin.

"C'mon dude! Cheer up, I Wanna party, which means you get drunk. Mission accomplished!"

I nodded grinning wickedly to that, I grabbed my backpack, checked that I still had my fake ID and ran out of the classroom with Sebastian, Jonathon, Camille, and Raphael close at my heels.

* * *

**AN: Hellloooo my pretty's! Haha, A quickish update for you peeps, Chapter 5 should be up soon, This was quiet a sad chapter :( and I know I said Raphael lived with Magnus, and he does but he is also older and hangs out with Alecs group - thought I would just point that out if you got confused. **

**Next chapter will be in Alec pov. With a tiny snippet at the end of Magnus' I don't really care about the latter at the moment, I want to develop Alec, so be prepared for allll the Alecy goodness :)**

**Reviews?**

**Sarah, xxx**

**Sneak peak:**

_The pulse of the sing flooded through my body, and I was lost. I wasn'y controlling my body anymore, the beat was..._

**(grammer, spelling and sneak peak added 28/7/12)**


	5. Pandemonium? Party on!

**Chapter 5: Pandemonium? Party on!**

* * *

**A/N: I don't own The Mortal Instruments, never will.**

* * *

Pulling up onto the side walk with my friends, in my convertible Mustang; the air was already thick with sweat and alcohol, and the line was already very long. I looked at Camille and she winked with a knowing smirk. I followed her up towards the front of the club, skipping the enormous queue, we walked in a pack, and only some people complained – who got glares form Jonathan and Sebastian – the others knew us, and stayed silent. The bouncer gave us a raised eyebrow, and was about to complain and tell us to go line up like everyone else, until he saw Camille – well, her cleavage. The bouncer – whose name tag said Bob – let us in with no questions asked, just a quick 'Welcome to Pandemonium!' When we got inside, we all high fived: mission accomplished.

We split off into different parts of the club, Seb', Jon' and Raphael all snaked into the crowd on the dance floor, mixing and disappearing with the army of bodies, while me and Camille stalked off towards the 'lounge'. The music thumped around the area, Camille grabbed my hand, while we walked, and when we reached our destination I slipped her a fake ID, she smile gratefully.

"ID?"

With a flick of our wrists the barman's eyes went wide in acknowledgement. 'Camille Belcourt aged 18, and Alexander Lightwood aged 18.' It said we were a year older that what we really were, but he didn't know that. We ordered our drinks and sat at the bar admiring any guy who walked past us, we laughed and joked for about an hour or so, until the rest of the group appeared at the bar one by one; we sat at table right at the back, and we ordered round after round of drinks and we took the piss out of anything that moved, after all, going out to cheer up Alec Lightwood meant getting completely hammered on anything and everything, maybe starting a few fights while you're at it.

At about half ten I was completely out of my head, I didn't feel any better that when I came here, in fact I felt worse, but my body was telling me I was having a great time, I got fed up of listening to the voices of reason inside my head, and got onto my feet and - somehow - made them move towards to dance floor. The DJ started saying that he was taking requests for songs, and obviously someone asked for one, because as soon as he said that the distinctive opening bars of 'DUI by Blood on the Dance Floor' started playing. The group followed me, and we started bumping and grinding to the song, the beat pulsed throughout my entire body, and my skin was buzzing with an electrical charge that I couldn't shake off. The intoxicating drone of the bass worked its way throughout my senses and motor functions; the lyrics wrapped themselves around my mind:

_Oops I did it again, Committed a sin_

_Drunk, Dialled my ex, Fuck her right to the next_

_Hoes on my neck, Mr. Whiskey Train wreck_

_Always breaking the law, Blame it on alcohol_

_You better call the cops because we just won't stop_

_We got that beat that drops, Just drop it like it's hot_

_You better call the cops because we just won't stop_

_We got that beat that drops, Just drop it like it's hot_

When the chorus started, I found my rhythm in amongst the crowd, bouncing on the balls of my feet and occasionally grinding to the person next to me. The multi-coloured lights flooded around me, I briefly saw Sebastian somewhere grinding with two blonde girls and Jonathon was perched against the wall with a smirk and a gleam in his eyes.

* * *

I was only on the dance floor for three songs before I started to become weighted down by my earlier thoughts. I shakily walked towards the bathroom, surprised there wasn't anyone in there, but I was ecstatic that no one was around, for what I was about to do. I dug around my pockets _Keys, phone, gum..._When I found the small see-through packet with a dry green substance, the weed; I grinned a little. I grabbed my lighter and lit a smidge, raising it to my lips and inhaled a long drag of the bitter substance, I held in the breath, feeling the smoke tickle my lungs; I quickly exhaled smoothly; repeating the process a couple of times before I swiftly placed the weed back into my back pocket safely. I made my way back towards the loud pulsing music and the lifestyle I had grown to love.

Out on the floor safely in the sea of people, the drug started to take effect, mixed with my mood and alcohol, I was a mess of limbs. My body wrapped itself around other people like a snake, creating sultry exotic movements. The girl I danced with, had long brown hair that stuck to her sweaty neck, her clothes that clung to her in all the right places, I knew it was wrong, I knew who I was, and what I liked; I needed a distraction, and she was perfect. I sloppily kissed her, she was just as drunk as me, from the look of her, and I knew I wouldn't remember anything the morning after; my eyes were shot and I lost myself in her mouth and the salty, sweat filled air.

* * *

When I left Pandemonium my head was a mess, all of my rational thinking was drowned in alcohol and drugs, but Sebastian was right; I needed to let loose, and party, even if I was going to regret it later - which I will. I practically floated to the car, I didn't know where I was, what I was doing or anything. I felt bile rise in my throat and pushed Camille out of my way just as I heaved my guts up, and anything else I had had during the day. Camille muttered something I couldn't hear, but grabbed some tissues out of her bag, wiped my mouth and brushed my hair off my forehead; my vision blurred around the edges, and I fell forward like a led ton weight, hitting the pavement a little, but Jon' caught me.

I woke up in a car about a couple of minutes later, my head hurt like hell, and the small amount of light that there was semi-blinded me, I inwardly groaned.

"I see you're finally conscious!"

Someone shouted from the front of the car, I heard some sniggers and blinked a couple of times, sat up and groaned out loud.

"Whose idea was this?"

They all laughed and I just said 'fuck off' and started to fall asleep.

* * *

**M pov. (Yaayy!)**

Strolling up the stairs toward mine and Simon's room I deliberated on actually going to my shared room, or asking Ragnor if I could sleep in his room for tonight; I let go of the idea, and trudged toward the door with the sign 'S. L and M.B' with a couple of smiley faces under the initials. I opened the mis-matched door and stepped inside the room to be greeted by 'Naruto' playing loudly on the TV and the back of a brown haired boy strumming some cords on a bass guitar. I slammed the door and watched as Simon dropped his bass and turned around looking completely terrified, I gave him a doubted look and he gave me his lop-sided grin. I went into the bathroom, wiped off all my make-up, washed all the gel and hairspray out and then got dressed in a pair of grey jogging bottoms and one of Simons T-shirts saying in bold block letters 'Sexy and I know it' I laughed at my reflection, but walked out the bathroom with a strut a run-way model would be proud of, and walked into the bedroom. Simon had already switched off naruto and was sitting on his bed, with a manga of 'Bleach' I strutted in, and Simon clapped at my outfit. I loved this about him, he didn't judge me, and didn't care when I nicked his clothes. I sat on the bed opposite him and pulled the duvet around my tall frame.

"Simon?"  
"Hmm? What's up Magnus?"

"Sorry I keep waking you up,"

He chuckled, threw his manga on the floor next to his bed, and switched his lamp off.

"Don't worry, Magnus. We all have troubles and past, just go to sleep and everything will be okay!"

He excitedly recited. He said this every time I said sorry. I looked towards the ceiling and sighed, I didn't feel sleepy, and I was still – somehow – buzzing from my encounter with the mystery boy with striking blue eyes. When I finally did fall asleep, my alarm said it was 2:27AM; I fell asleep with a smile on my face and thoughts of _him._

* * *

**A/N: HAHA! WOW, I really made Alec the bad guy here...and Magnus is makin' friends with Simon :) Anyhoow...**

**song: DUI by Blood On The Dance Floor**

**Sneak peak:**

_I heard a crashing sound, that came in from the direction of the kitchen; groaning, I rolled over and made my way dowstairs, comeing face to face with..._

**^ HA! I'm evil, but you'll have to wait for the next chapter my prettys!**

**Tell me what you think?**

**Review?**

**Sarah, xxxxxx :) **


	6. Dissapointment, Sarcasm, and Hurt

**A/N: The Mortal Instruments doesn't belong to me, wish it was ;)**

** Special thanks to: IamTheMarsian, Dolfija, and Pookiexxx for your reviews!**

** Gunna Have a different Pov. On this Chap...wonder who it is?**

* * *

**_Chapter 6: Dissapointment, Sarcasm, and Hurt._**

* * *

"Hey, Asshole. Wake up!"

I heard before the ice cold water hit me, I instantly was awake and alert, completely forgetting about any signs of a hangover, and hastily ran after Sebastian. My hair was casting water droplets everywhere I went: up the walls, the carpet, and my skin. Screaming and shouting could be heard throughout the house, when I finally caught Sebastian - who was cowering in the bathroom - I gave him a particularly hard nuggy' and told him to get out while I showered.

The water was just hot enough for me, when I stepped under the spray; I blindly grabbed shampoo and some soap. After I washed myself, and all traces of the sweaty, alcoholic smell was gone from my body, I just stood there under the spray; maybe after two-ish' years it's finally time for payback. If I can't get him out of my head, maybe I should just beat him up...sounded like a good plan. When I finally got out of the shower the water was well and truly cold, I grabbed some clothes, and said 'goodbye' to Sebastian's family and quickly made an exit.

I made it home within ten minutes, opening the front gate, I snuck in through the back door, ran upstairs toward my plain boring bedroom, looking around it struck me how much time I don't spend in here; the bed was made, no mess on the floor, books all in alphabetical order, clothes all folded and unused. I wondered out into the hallway and quietly knocked on my sisters' door. I opened it and shut it even more quietly then how I opened it, she was sat primly at her vanity table, putting on her makeup, I saw a sad smile appear in the mirror and she opened her mouth to speak but I beat her to it.

"I'm sorry I didn't come home last night, I needed to clear my head, and I crashed at Sebastian's place,"

I gave her as convincing of a smile as I could, and hoped she didn't see through my lie; someone shouted for Isabelle, Jace and Max. I scowled but didn't say anything, Isabelle grabbed my arm and walked out of her room with me in tow, we bumped into Max on the way down the stairs, who gave me a bone crushing hug and made me promise that I would read with him later tonight, I shook off my sibling hold and told her to go ahead of me, I waited five minutes before walking down the rest of the newly carpeted stairs. As I got nearer to the kitchen the nervousness grew even more. I walked into the kitchen and was greeted by a happy family…which I wasn't a part of.

My parents acted as though their eldest son had just walked in, but as a stranger who wasn't welcome, Jace scowled but didn't do anything, and Isabelle just stared at her plate while Max, who's nine year old self looked and acted so much older beckoned for me to come and sit down next to him, was met with a glare from our father.

"Oh, don't mind me my _dear family_, I'm just _fine_, had a lovely dinner _at McDonalds_! _How did you sleep Alec?_ Well, I'm glad you _asked_, because I had a _wonderful _nights worth of sleep,"

My voice was dripping with pure sarcasm, and it dared Robert to say something, I didn't care what, just something.

"_Good Morning, Alexander_,"

"Glad you finally acknowledge my existence_, father_,"

I gave him a mocking bow, grabbed an apple, and sneered; I hated it in this house. My sister accepted my completely, but was still terrified of our father; I didn't blame her, nor did I blame Jace of little Max, I gave a defeated sigh and walked away from them; grabbing my school bag and out the door.

* * *

**Isabelle pov.**

I knew our family had had its problem, and I have wanted to wake up with different parents on more than one occasion, but this was torture. The front door slammed, and the distinctive revving of Alecs car engine signalled that he had left the Lightwood estate. Everyone was dead silent, waiting for Dads inevitable outburst on how much he loathed Alec's existence. We waited; Me, Mum, and Jace all waiting and wanting it to be all over quickly, but to our surprise…it didn't come. He just calmly ate his waffles. We followed his example and at in a tense silence; did I say that I hated my parents?

The school day had passed without much incidence, people got on with what they usually did, Alec hung out with his friends, and Jace was – strangely – following a ginger headed girl in our class…Clary I think. My eyes swept over all the faces in the canteen, looking for no-one in particular, I looked up startled when loud laughing was heard from a little way in front of me; there was a boy with light brown hair – with spaghetti in it – bent over trying to find his glasses in amongst the spilt food, and then there was Alec laughing and joking with _his mates_. I got up from my table and briskly walked toward the commotion, with a grim expression.

I think I surprised everyone – including myself – when I barged past Jonathan and Sebastian to get to the boy searching for his glasses; I bent down picked up his glasses, then grabbed his arm. I was about to walk away from them, but I was sick of my own _brother_ - who I know isn't like this – acting like he runs the school, I walked right up to him with the strange boy just behind me.

"I'm so disappointed in you Alec,"

I grabbed the boys hand and walked off with him tumbling behind me. When I knew I was safely away from the watching eyes of the canteen, I wiped his glasses and gave them back. He mumbled thanks and put them back on.

"Sorry about my brother, he's not always like that,"

I said as friendly as I could, he bit back a sneer, but replied softly.

"Don't worry about it, I'm Simon by the way,"

"I'm Isabelle."

We smiled at each other and then we walked toward the corridor that lead to our separate classes, before parting ways.

* * *

**Magnus pov.**

Things in the canteen got a lot more hectic after the girl left, who I guessed was mystery boy's sister. The boys group was a lot meaner then how they usually were, which I'm guessing isn't that much considering it was only a week in the school year. Adam sat beside me with his usual burger and fries, and I idly wondered how that boy stayed so thin with the amount of food he packed away a day...but I also wondered that about Ragnor. Shaking my head and them thoughts, I turned in the red plastic chair towards him. He looked a little like Simon, apart from his hair was a mixture of blonde and chestnut brown, his eyes were a leafy autumn green and he was tall - but still shorter than me. He didn't have any glasses either, which would have completed his geeky look. I cleared my throat and Adam raised both eyebrows and looked straight at me.

"Who are those douche bags?"

I pointed my thumb in their general direction, Adam placed his burger on the tray, cleared his throat and they proceeded to tell me who they were.

"Those dickheads are; Sebastian Verlac, Jonathan Morgenstern, Camille Belcourt, Maureen Brown, Raphael Santiago and...Alec Lightwood,"

I noticed his hesitance saying 'Alec Lightwood', but I didn't say anything. I didn't need to; I knew who he was talking about. I didn't say anything else on the matter, just picked at whatever was in front of me, I didn't care. I finally knew the boy's name. It sent chills down my spine just thinking about it. Adam gave me a side long look, as if to say ;I know what you are thinking' I shrugged as the bell rung for next lesson, I got up and found Ragnor chatting with some pretty girls and told him that I would be walking home on my own today, and then walked away towards my last lesson.

When I finally left the school - after everyone else - I was as slow as a slug, I was tired from learning, and tired in general. I walked towards the park near the half-way-house, the sun was hiding behind clouds, and there was a soft breeze that kept the heat at bay. I stepped onto the soft grass and perched on a swing gently. I did some homework before I packed up to head home, I was too engrossed in packing up all my stuff and my head was full of thoughts that all jumbled together, that I completely didn't hear the fast approaching footsteps.

* * *

**A/N: AHHHHHHH! Scary, what's going to happen to Magnus I wonder...?**

**IMPORTANT!**

**This is one of my first fanfics, and to make it a lot easier on myself and you lovely readers, I'm going to post two other separate stories, that all tie into this one! One will be focusing on Simon/Izzy and the other will focus on Jace/Clary.**

** It makes a lot more sense! =^_^=**

** So keep your eyes peeled for:**

** Our Past, Our secrets, Our Promise - Simon/Izzy**

** ...and...**

** Scars, Love and Opposites - Jace/Clary**

**_Sneak peak:_**

_It felt as if every bone in my body was being shattered into a thousand pieces, the hits and blows to my sensitive flesh, made me cry out for help, any help. I curled into a ball waiting for it to end, but it ended sooner than I expected, and a gentle hand rested on my shoulder._

_ "Are you alright?"_

**Well, I'm going to write some chapters for the other fics that I'll be reading. But I will only post when it is relevant to this story, so look out for my other stories :)**

**Review?**

** Sarah, xxxx**


	7. Torture and Superman

**A/N: hey my pretty's! I'm putting a little warning on this chapter, coz' it has - my best efforts - at describing violence, and it has some homophobic slurs, so just to warn you, about what is in this chapter. Alright on to the story!**

**Special thanks to: IamTheMarsian, TeamJemTeamMalec anndddd Dolfija. For your lovely reviews and input! THANK YOU!**

* * *

**_Chapter 7: Torture and Superman_**

* * *

I pushed my green English book into my shoulder bag with smiley' faces all over it, I had tried jamming it in at every angle possible already, and finally it fit; my mind was in a sea of random thoughts: _Homework, friends, dreams, food, Simon, food, Alec, Adam, food, Alec…_ That I was mostly going on autopilot, I wasn't paying any attention - what so ever - to my surroundings. I threw the bag over my shoulder and bent down to grab my journal when a pair of strong hands pushed me over from behind; I hit the ground – hard. I rolled over slightly to grab it, and put it in my bag as quick as possible, before they could grab it. I sat up and looked up at my culprit.

My eyes met with a set of dark brown – almost black – eyes, and a pair of midnight green ones, panic rose in my throat, and I made my way to get up, but was pushed down again; what had I done? Why are these two guys here? My heart started beating faster and harder than it had before, my breathing became haggard and the memories from four years ago flashed into my mind, and I was helplessly at their mercy,

_"Gao, I-I thin-nk I love you,"_

_"I love you too, Magnus,"_

_The boy's eyes met mine, they were a beautiful golden blue colour and I felt completely entrapped, his perfect mouth curved into a smile and I practically melted on the spot, he grabbed my hand and twined it with his. We sat like that for a little while under the big tree in central park, and then Gao took my face in his hands and kissed me. We sat there kissing for what felt like eternity, but all to soon his hands started to roam lower, lower than I felt safe with. I jerked away from him and he did a low growl in the back of his throat, and frowned._

_"Don't you love me Magnus? I want you to show me that you love me," _

_I panicked but he pinned me down with his body, he undressed me and a blind pain ripped through my entire body._

I pressed the base of my hands into my temples, wanting to stop the memories. The two guys looked at me like I was crazy, not like that stopped them. I was already on the ground, and before I knew it their feet and fists had collided with my body. The one with black hair hit first and he looked more satisfied than the white blonde, when he punched, it wasn't as hard, and didn't hurt as much as black-haired boy's did. The pain increased as the assault carried on, I made a feeble attempt to protect myself the small effort was crushed. Black haired boy stomped on my left hand, a sharp pain ran up my entire arm, and tears sprung from my eyes, for the first time since this started; I didn't know when this was going to end, or if it even was.

They kept coming back for more. At one point I thought they were tired of punching and kicking, but no, they just needed to swap. By now my nose had a steady stream of ruby coming out of it, I couldn't move my left hand, my legs were numb, and I swore that my ribs were only un-broken by a tiny thread; everything hurt, I didn't - couldn't move, and my head was screaming at me to at least try to fight back. Then it just stopped; I opened my eyes slightly to see that they had moved away a little to the right, and had their heads bent together in conversation. Their bodies started to become double and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. I kept my eyes open even though it hurt to even breath. I caught onto a little of what they were saying, but most of it didn't make any sense to me anyway:

"I don't' care...fuck you Jon'...maybe later..."

"We are gonna' get fucked...Go screw..."

Nothing was making sense to me anymore, and I couldn't feel anything apart from the dull ache in my chest; either I was going to die right here in the park, of I would - somehow - make a miraculous recovery in ER. The boy with white hair walked off, but Black haired boy stayed.

"So, Fag. You fucked with us!"

_Wait...what? When did I..._

"And you are gonna' pay, for what you did to our boy,"

_What did I do? What did I do!?_

"You are going to get what's coming to you; this is what you get for dressing like a fairy, and being a fag!"

He roared at me, I racked what little brain cells I had left for an answer, but Black haired boy didn't explain. After his rant White haired boy came back holding a bat very tightly, and gave it to the other boy._ No, no, no, not this! Anything but this!_ The boy raised the bat just above his shoulder, and swung. Thwack! My entire body convulsed into thick sobs, and I screamed. The bat connected with my flesh several move times before they ended their torture, dropped the bat on my ankle, and walked off and left me there drowning in my tears. It felt as if every bone had been shattered into a million tiny pieces. The hits and blows I just endured to my sensitive flesh made me scream in my head for help, but I never did. I curled into a ball best I could before letting the tears truly go.

* * *

**Alec pov. (DUN DUN DUNNNNN)**

_Damn you Izzy! What right do you have to say 'I'm so disappointed in you' to my face? Nothing that's what! But...she has always been there for me, no matter what I did to her, she always stayed with me and believed in me...even now, she still does._

My head was a mess. That was the understatement of the century,and that was why I was on my own walking to a deserted park rather than drinking and smoking my troubles away. This was what I used to do, before Raphael introduced me to the world of fabulous drugs, and Sebastian introduced me to alcohol. Before them; I was a good boy, I woke up, went to school, came home with my siblings, wash up and started dinner, then my parents would come home, we would eat together, and then I would swiftly go to bed a nine o'clock. Then I met Sebastian and Jonathon, cousins who didn't care what the world thought of them because the world had already turned its back on them, we struck up an odd friendship, and then finally, I became a sort of leader to them. I looked up at the old trees I used to climb with Jace, and the swings I would play with Izzy on, the bench Maryse and I would sit at while the rest of the children played. all of that seems like part of someone else's life, not mine. I kept my head down and looked at my feet while I walked. I brushed past an elderly couple who grumbled about 'kids these days.' I kept walking, my feet taking me somewhere.

When I started paying attention to where I was going my ears were assaulted with sobs. I looked around but saw no one. I hiked into the direction the sobbing came from, I hated it when someone was crying. I sped up into a sort of jog, wanting to get to the person more quickly with each step. I came to a little secluded park section, and I saw a boy was laying on the wood chip bawling his eyes out. I stood there for a minute or two, not really knowing what to do. I took a tentative step forward, then another, and then another. Something wasn't right with the picture though, then I smelt it, that burnt sugary iron smell: blood. I bent down beside the person and almost jumped out of my skin when I saw who was crying: Magnus Bane. _Oh God, oh God, what do I do? Okay keep your cool Alec, he needs help! _I inspected his face with care, but he still flinched away from my touch; with bruises all over his face, and blood practically soaking every item of clothing no wonder, who ever did this did it well. I grimaced at that thought, I caught sight of his bag and books, shoved them books back inside, hauled it over my shoulder. My eyes widened when I saw the bat, I gulped and called for an ambulance. He was going to need it.

* * *

Sitting there in the waiting room, I wondered why I even saved him. It's not like I knew him. _You want to though. _I wrung my hands together in impatience; he was in surgery. Surgery for his two broken ribs, and broken wrist. I hated hospital. I'd managed to avoid them up until now, but this guy - Magnus - made me come here in a heartbeat, I smiled a little at that, a true genuine smile I've had for a while.

"Mr Lightwood?"

"Yes? I'd prefer if you called me Alec, Mr Lightwood is my father,"

"Oh, of course. surgery went as planned with Mr Bane, although his hand may never be the same again,"

"Can I see him?"

"Of course, in that room over there, go on right in, he is also awake,"

I practically ran in the direction the doctor pointed in. When I was outside the door, I took a deep breath. Then opened the door.

* * *

**A/N: I bet you're all screaming at the sceen 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' well, I'm afraid 'YESSSSSS' I'm gonna keep you hanging! I'm that evil, I have everything planed out for the next chapter, so it will be up very soon :) **

**(_Grammer, and spelling checked on 7/8/12 by TeamJemTeamMalec. Thank you for all your help :)_**

Link to Our past, Our secrets, Our promise: s/8392422/1/Our_past_Our_secret_Our_promise

**Hope I did a good job at that, I mostly write random prefaces of same-sex couples, so this was new for me. Anyhooowwwwww** :))

**REVIEWWWWWW?**

**Sarah, xxxxx**


	8. A new Friendship

**A/N: Heyyy my pretty's! Hope you all like this chapter, it's quite long and has a lot going on, so read on!**

**Special thanks to: babyphat5968, malec. love, IamTheMarsian,PaleIsTheNewTan (It won't lemme have the dot in-between the words .) and TeamJemTeamMalec thanks for all your reviews!**

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_Chapter 8: A New Friendship_

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When I opened the hospital door to Magnus' room, I had many different scenarios planned out in my head about how I would talk to him, but no matter how much I thought about it, nothing prepared me for what happened as soon as I opened the door; a tray of food assaulted my head. I stood there about to yell at him, my hand slid off the handle and I wiped my face as best I could. When I got whatever green substance out of my eye, I sent a look at the boy who was half sitting up in the hospital bed with a look of fear on his beautiful face.

"What was that for? I haven't done anything to you,"

My blue eyes connected with his dark green ones and I gave him a small smile of reassurance. Magnus' face got paler the closer I got to him; I wasn't that scary was I? I shrugged my brown leather jacket off and sat in the chair next to his bed. He shuffled away from me a little, and a sharp pain rose in my chest. "You know, I'm not going to hurt you," Magnus looked down at his hands, one of them was bandaged up tightly while the other had a few cuts and scrapes on it. I wanted to reach over and grab his hand but didn't want to scare him anymore than he already was.

"I k-know,"

His voice shook and I thought to hell with it. I grabbed the hand that was bandaged up and held it in mine. I heard a sharp intake of breath, and I looked up into his bruised face.

"I'm the one who found you, so why would I hurt you anymore than you already are?"

I let his hand go, and leaned back in the in the uncomfortable plastic and waited for him to answer. His hair was down and messy, his makeup smeared around his eyes, dark bruises that have recently formed on his face. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, which left black tears tracks down his tanned cheeks. I sighed softly at how beautiful he looked, but sadly I knew nothing would come out of this infatuation, that was all it was, and all it will ever be, no one like him would every like someone like me. I got up and shuffled toward the sink in the corner and scrubbed at my face and hair_, This is going to take forever to get out of my hair..._I gave up trying to get the green shit out of my hair and dried everything as best I could with a paper towel, before I sat back down in the hard plastic.

"You're A-Alec, right?"

I grinned, and nodded: "Is that short for something?" I was going to say no, but realised that it was short for something, I just refused to acknowledge the fact that I have another name; I nodded sadly, but answered him anyway.

"Yeah, it's short for Alexander, what about yours, _Magnus_?"

His eyes widened and a grin appeared on both of our faces, Magnus winced a little.

"No, my Mum named me it; it means 'great',"

I nodded at that, it was perfectly fitting for him, he was great; a great talker, a great person, had great fashion sense, had a great smile, had great eyes, he was just great; although Magnus looked sad when he said it, I didn't want to talk about his parents, and I guessed he didn't either.

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**(MaGnUs PoV. hehe)**

I was surprised when I didn't burst out crying at the thought of my mother, I've always cried when it came to my family, and for some reason Alec wasn't running away from the_ fag_. It was strange having someone like him being concerned for me, it was strange, but I liked it. He hadn't even bothered to move the stray locks of hair out of his eyes like he usually would. Alec was very laid back; his whole body fit - somehow - into the small plastic chair on my right side, his fee perched on the bar under the mattress, hands resting behind his head. I looked away from him; how could he even look at me, without a feeling of disgust? I looked terrible; I knew that my hair was flat and that all my makeup was smudged, that I had big ugly bruises covering my body. Yet somehow he still looked right at me with no dirty looks or pity, somehow it was like he_...understood_. I scrapped my right hand through my hair, it was pissing me off.

"Alec? Could you help me quick?"

He instantly looked confused and a little scared and I thought _'how cute is he?' _He nodded and got up from the chair and gingerly placed himself on the side of the bed. I handed a red hair tie to him: "Can you put my hair up, I kind of only have one hand here," I chuckled a little, Alec smiled and pulled my hair away from my face with soft, gentle fingers and skilfully put my black and gold hair up into a pony-tail. I thanked him and absent-mindedly started rubbing at my wrist. Alec moved back to where he was last sitting and got back into the sprawled out position he was in. I laughed at his vacant expression, and he gave me a half-hearted glare...or at least I thought it was half-hearted. "So, why are you actually here?"

He sighed, opened his eyes and looked at me:

"I'm here to check on you. I found you at the park sobbing and bleeding, I wanted to make sure you were alright,"

I smiled, _'I wanted to make sure you were alright'_ he made me smile, but Alec looked grumpy, like he was annoyed by how he said it and how it came out; or maybe he always looked grumpy, I don't know.

"You don't have to babysit me by the way, and I'm sorry I threw food at you,"

He laughed, he genuinely laughed, and my mouth went wide with awe, no way on this earth was a laugh supposed to be that contagious, I didn't know what part he was laughing about though, so that kept me with a small amount of fear in my heart. My right hand tightened around my wrist, and I ground my teeth together, I hated it when people laughed around me, I was never sure if they were laughing _with_ me or _at _me. Our laughter subsided and we were both left in a comfortable but slightly awkward atmosphere. I didn't really know this _Alec Lightwood, _the bad boy of the academy who didn't care what other people thought and said about him, I didn't even really know this boy who was sitting in front of me; he was caring, teasing, and laid back; in comparison to the _Alec_ at school, he's different. I want to know more about him, and I knew the best way to get to know him, even if it's just a little. "Well, Alec I'm not alright!"

I declared and he raised an eyebrow, I internally smiled at that:

"What do you mean? You look perfectly fine to me. Well, your breathing anyway."

"Well, I'm bored. I vote we play twenty questions, you in?"

I smirked at him, and if I wasn't so focus on knowing more about this stranger, I would have thought I was flirting with him. Alec's face turned into a grin and his eyes crinkled at the sides. For now, I wanted to be his friend, that was what I promised myself when I moved here from Brooklyn, friends first, then if I'm ready, maybe something more, doubtful considering he's probably _straight._

_"_Fine, Twenty questions. My turn, what's your favourite colour?"

"Blue -" I said it before I even had a chance to realise I'd said it. _Blue? Since when have I like blue? _"- Yours?"

"Black. Do you have any siblings?"

The question shocked me, I mean I didn't have any siblings, but technically I did. I sighed, this was going to be hard to explain.

"Yes, but no,"

"What do you mean?"

"Hey! It's my turn, When were you born?"

He sighed, "March, 27th 1994, now what do you mean by yes/no?"

_This is going to be fun to explain. _I explained it as best I could to him, how that I lived at the Half-way house, and that I had no blood relatives, but everyone at the House was my family, I even told him that Raphael was a brother to me. He snickered at that, and then we kept asking questions; going back and forth, asking ridiculous questions like; "_If you had a million dollars what would you spend it on?" _and _"What was your first teddy called?" _Our questions got more and more stupid as time went by, and I started to put together the pieces of the puzzle that was Alec Lightwood. I found out that he had two brothers called Jace and Max, although Jace was his adoptive brother, and that he had a sister called Isabelle. I found out some other little quirks that were only _Alec, _but all of it went temporarily out of my head when he asked if I was gay, I choked out an answer and replied:

"A-are you?"

"..."

I thought I had finally scared him off, but he was about to answer when his phone went off, a loud sound of a guitar broke the silence, and Alec fished it out of his pocket and answered it.

"Hey...yeah'...I don't care...Izzy I don't care, I've already told you that...no I don't...look I'm not going home okay? Yeah, fine do what you like."

Alec stared at his phone and looked like he was going to throw it against the wall, but just put it back into his pocket. I didn't ask him what just went on with him and I assumed his sister, so I just silently sat on the bed while my chest got itchy. Alec looked at me and then the door, like he was torn between bolting out of the room of staying with me. My chest was really bothering me now, so I called for a nurse.

"If you want to go, you don't have to stay, I'll be fine, I've had worse"

He nodded, put on his jacket and made to leave, but the nurse told him to wait and keep me distracted while she checked on the bandages on my chest. I was very swollen so she laid me back down on my bed and told me to get some rest and no more visitors until the swelling has gone down and everything has almost healed. She left and Alec looked like he was going to throw up. He said his goodbye and walked out the hospital door, then he popped his head back inside:

"By the way, I am gay,"

Then he made his escape. _Alexander Lightwood was gay. _I looked around my cold white hospital room and smiled, I guess one good thing came out of this mess.

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**A/N: Heyy my pretty! I'm sooooo sorry if this chapter sucked, I knew what to write in my head, it just kind of failed when I started typing it up, so yah :( **

**Anyyhoooowww, I'll work on the next chapter a lot to make it compensate for this chap. **

_**(Grammer and Spell checked on the 9/8/12 by TeamJemYeamMalec. Thank you!**__** =^_^=)**_

_Sneak peak:_

_It's been almost two weeks since I last saw Magnus, I tried seeing him at the hospital but they said that he wasn't there. I didn't know where to find him, but I hope he hasn't been in any parks aloe, I'd hate to think that he got beat up again, cause' that would suck..._

_**R**_e_Vi**E**w ?_

_Sarah xxx_


	9. Big Brothers and Secret Agendas'

**A/N: Hellloooo everyone! Well, I've guessed from the last chapter that I should never say that TSABP sucks, so I will never say that again *Zips lips* ;) **

**Special thank you to: A guest review millie, TeamJemTeamMalec, IanTheMarsian, malec. love and Pale. Is. The. New. Tan; for being totally fantastic and reviewing every chapter! haha :D**

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**_Chapter 9: Big Brothers and Secret Agendas'_**

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**(Isabelle pov.*smiles*)**

It was getting late, and I was laying on my bed staring at the ceiling. My stomach was churning with worry. It was eight thirty; Alec always phoned me to say that he was either coming home late or wasn't going to be home at all...unless he was drunk, then he never phoned me. I turned on my side and stared at the alarm clock. _20:32._ _What happened to my big bother...? _I knew the answer to that. My brother left the day it was revealed that he was gay, same as our parents started to forget that they had another son. Robert thinks Alec's going through a phase, while Mum - I think - knows deep down that her son likes men and I thinks she accepts him, but...Robert wasn't as nice back then as he - kind of - is now. Back then he used to yell at Alec, and hurt Alec like no loving father would to his son, but he did; and it was because of me. Alec was the only one who would play with my dolls, play dress up and do girly stuff, he didn't care as long as it made me happy, the same as when Jace came to live with us. Alec was so nice and caring, he did practically everything for Jace, but he still made time for me.

I sat up and pulled my legs up and propped my chin on my knees and closed my eyes. Mum and Robert were fighting downstairs, angry words were being thrown around in whatever room they were in; I reached for my phone, I needed to know where my big brother was, at least it would make the worry and fear subside, even if it was just a little. I pressed the number one on my Blackberry Curve; his number was on speed-dial. It rang once and then he picked up.

"Alec?...they're fighting again...but-...you always do this...when are you coming home?...piss off then!"

I threw my phone on my purple silk pillows and groaned. _Why does he always shut me out? Does he care about me at all? _I dove into the comfort of my bed, buried my head under the pillows, and muffled out the shouting and crashing that was surrounding my mind. I faintly heard a thump from the room next to me, Jace was obviously blaming himself for all the arguments that our parents had. It started a month after Jace was adopted, all the arguments, the fights and the big cracks in our family; they were already there...Alec just made them shatter. He used to always protect us, even if Jace and Max didn't know it, he used to walk right downstairs and become a punching bag for our Dad. No matter what abuse he took he was still our sweet Alec, but over the years I guess anyone would want it to stop.

I felt the tears roll down my checks and I scrubbed a my eyes fiercely, I was a big girl now, and big girls_ never _cry, that was what my big brother told me. He was wrong after all, I'll always be a little girl at heart.

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_**_(**_**A**_l_**e**_c_** p**_o_**v**_._** h**_e_**h**_e__**)_**_

For once I was all alone in the canteen. No Sebastian or Jonathon, it was a quiet day. Most of my friends had bunked off today because of one thing: I had AP history. They hated it when I went nerd on them, but they tolerated it. My head fell into my awaiting hands, and I let out a long deep breath. It had been two weeks since I last saw Magnus; I hadn't been able to see him because he tried getting out of bed and made his healing ribs swell up. As far as I knew, he was at home chilling out in bed watching TV. _Lucky bastard. _I started to silently laugh to myself. After I got that out of my system, I started picking my way through the food on my plate. Someone pulled out the chair beside me and sat down, I looked towards the person and blinked. _What the fuck is he doing? Wait, why the fuck is he even near me? _

"You can stop staring you know?"

I couldn't believe it, I wanted to laugh so much, in fact I did just that. My lips curved into a smile and a loud laugh emanated from my mouth. _Simon Lewis _was slumming a bit wasn't he?

"What are you doing?" I choked out between my laughter.

Simon raised his eyebrow and replied flatly: "Magnus,"

My laughter instantly ceased, and I became stoic once again. The only thing that would have given away how worried I was was my eyes. At the moment I guessed that there were at least three different shades swirling in them. I didn't say anything and waited for his anticipated answer. "What is your angle? I know you don't do stuff for free,"

"What makes you think that?" I cockily answered.

"Well, lets see, _Alec Lightwood _who doesn't care about _anyone, _brought the sparkly gay kid to the hospital _and_ spoke to him, with _no secret agenda_? No. That doesn't sound like _Alec Lightwood. _At. All,"

I gulped. This kid as good, but so was I...at telling the blunt truth.

"Well, maybe _Alec Lightwood _was feeling nice? Maybe the _'sparkly gay kid' _doesn't think he's a total asshole?"

I jumped out of my chair, I had just said _way_ too much. I clenched my fist together and stalked off, I didn't want to punch him, it wasn't who I am...or who I was anymore. Briskly walking down the hallways with my hands clenched into fists at my side, with a dark expression plastered to my face, people moved out my way. I wanted to get the back of the school and take a smoke...but I couldn't bring myself to. The drugs started out as a bit of fun, but it soon became a growing addiction for me, and it was becoming harder and harder to quit with each passing day. I turned a corner and walked into the bathroom. I pushed the door, and gave a glare to anyone that was in the bathroom. Within a minute the bathroom was empty with only one occupant: me. I ran over to the sinks and splashed the warm water over my face I shakily pulled out the bag of weed out of my jacket. The dry crumpled leaves teasing me, their moss-green colour inviting me in. It took all my will to drop them in the sink. I hesitated before I turned on the tap, the pure clear water washing away the devil. I turned around and slid down the wall, and my head hit the wall.

"He doesn't think I'm a douche-bag,"

I whispered quietly, barely audible to anyone elses ears if they were listening, my eyes drifted toward the lights, and a hot wet trail started making its way down my cheeks. _When did my life become so fucked up?_

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**A/N: First time I've uploaded the day after another chapter! Hahaha I'm happy!**

**AWWW poor Alec, for some weird reason Tokio hotel made me write this...well, sorry this chappy was a lil' short, I'll make it up to you all in the next chapter. **

_**Now I've got a question, do you all like the pace the story is going of would you like me to speed it up a little?**_**It's all up to you, of course ;P**

_**(Everything checked on 9/8/12 by TeamJemTeamALec. Thanks! :D)**_

**No sneak peek this chappy, but stay tuned and expect a new chapter up very soon! (HEY! I'm a poet and I didn't know it ;)**

**I won't tell you to review either, but if you want to, you can, just saying...**

_**Sarah, xxxxx**_


	10. Love, Home, and Decisions

**A/N: Heyyy sorry I didn't update for a little while! I've had small case of writers block when it came to TSABP, so I hope this chapter is up to all your expectations! :D**

**Big thanks tooooo: Pale. Is****. The. Tan, IamTheMarsian, merlotte456, TeamJemTeamMalec, malec. love , and my guest millie. THANKS FOR ALL YOUR FAB REVIEWS!  
**

**I'm also trying out a different pov. in this chapter, this won't happen often, so if it does it will be a different character. :)**

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_**Chapter 10: Love, Home, and Decisions **_

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I didn't know how long I was in the bathroom for. All I knew was that my eyes stung from crying, my stomach rumbled from hunger, and I wasn't being myself. Simon had got to me. All I had thought about was Magnus these past few weeks. I had read up on chest injuries just so I could estimate when he would be back in school. With Magnus I could be me: Alec Lightwood; I didn't know why he had that effect on me, but he did. When I was with him at the hospital, I felt accepted, and calm. When I was in the small white room with Magnus I could forget all the fights, drugs, and alcohol. With him I felt normal. I wiped my eyes once more, and got up from the ground. There was no point crying. I had to keep my reputation up, even if it was for a little while longer. I looked at my reflection; my hair was a mess, - even more than it usually was - my eyes were red, puffy and stinging like hell. I had a killer headache. _Maybe it's time to go home._

Driving in my Mustang; with no one but me inside was a dream. The top was down, making the wind claw though my hair, yet caressing my already flushed cheeks. I sped up a little; I actually wanted to go home. I drove into the 'rich' estate; I than drove to a large gate. I punched I the code and drove in. When I pulled into the drive way I knew something was wrong. I parked my car next to a blue BMW, yet I had never seen the car in all my life. I got out my car and greeted Hodge, the gardener.

"Hey Hodge,"

The older man jumped at my loud voice. He turned around and a broad smile appeared on his withered face, and he came forward to give me a hug. I hugged the older man back; he was like a father to me. We broke apart and Hodge got back to pruning the flowers that surrounded the '_manor'._ I looked at the huge house, and sighed. I hated having to go home to a place like this. I would have preferred to have to go home to a one bedroom apartment instead of _this_. _Lightwood Manor _was one of the most elaborate houses in this part of town. The manor used to be an old church, but Robert had the house renovated and changed to fit into the modern era. The house; - as I liked to call it - which looked like a castle or a villa, was beautiful. A three floors, two balconies, and a lot of windows, the manor was divine on the outside. It was nothing compared to the inside. There was a room for anything, and everything. Sports room, gaming room, study, computer room, kitchen, living room, dining room and the five bedrooms. It was every child's dream, but to me it was a nightmare.

I patted Hodge on the back and walked toward the back of the house; just in case anyone was home. Considering there was a car in front of the house that wasn't mine, it could have been a possibility. I stalked into the back yard. I passed the house cat, Church, but he was asleep to even notice I brushed past him. I laughed at him, but thought it was best to wake him up. He had a way of knowing where everyone was. I bent down and scratched one of his ears. His mouth twitched and his tail perked up. He opened his blue and brown eyes and yawned. A giggle escaped from my mouth. _He's so adorable. _

"Church. Do you know if anyone's home?"

Church - in his cat way - shrugged. I smiled and asked. "Is Maryse home?" The cat grumbled a little but got up and led the way to where ever Maryse was. Church led me out to the back garden, or should I say the massive field that is at the back of the house. It was pure luscious green grass surrounded by a barrier of trees and overflowing with flowers. Maryse was sitting on one of the hundred benches in the 'field'. I started to walk towards the bench that she was sitting on, but decided against it. I petted Church quickly and walked into the house; completely ignoring the woman I called my mother.

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I opened the door to my bedroom and flopped onto my double bed. _It's nice to be home._ I breathed in the scent of my duvet and sighed. It smelt like home. Whatever home smelt like. I wanted to capture this moment forever; just me alone in my room with no one yelling at me or punching me. To me this was a perfect moment, but nothing lasts forever.

"Alexander?"

I grumbled; she found out I was home. _Great. _I turned over and faced the wall. I didn't want to talk to her. She never hurt me physically, but she didn't exactly help either. She just sat there and watched. I cringed inside and the knot in my stomach tightened just a bit. My bedroom was dark and the door was still open; Mayrse's shadow became visible to my eyes that were glued to the wall. "Alexander, what are you doing home?" She was using her stern voice. She was serious. I slowly rolled over, and faced my fears. I faced her head on, and looked into her eyes. I spoke low and my voice was a little scratchy, but I wanted her to know that I didn't want to talk to her.

"I didn't feel well."

Maryse looked torn, but I just turned over again and faced the wall. I didn't want to talk with her, and she didn't want to talk to me. I saw her shadow fade and I shut my eyes. Although I had an almost confrontation, I was glad to be home.

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**(MaGnUs PoV.)**

For once; I was in mine and Simon's room all alone. Since the attack; I've always been with somebody. I painfully trudged to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, and was half happy with what I saw. My normal muddy green eyes had no sickening blue marks on or around them, but instead pale brown bruises that would be easy to cover up. I inspected the rest of my skin; I was happy that all the bruises had either fades to a light brown, so it blended with my flesh, or a light green colour. My hair was greasy; I twirled a piece in between my fore finger and thumb. _I_ _need a shower. _I turned away from the mirror, and twisted the tap on inside the shower. The doctor had said that the bandages were waterproof, so it was time to finally test the theory. I hadn't been able to take a shower for two weeks now, so I am adamant on taking one now. What washes I have had; were embarrassing strip washes where I sat on the dining table, and Aline washed me with a dish cloth. I shivered; not something I wanted to remember.

I locked the door, and took my pyjamas off silently; letting the water calm my senses. I lifted my T-shit that said "Slackers unity!" and discarded it onto the floor. I stepped under the spray. I stood under the cascading water for a couple of minutes; before I looked up and started to vigorously scrub at my skin. I scrubbed at my arms, legs, top of my chest, and my face; everywhere apart from my chest until it was red raw. I grabbed my shampoo, exotic paradise, but something was bothering me. I poured some on my hands and quickly started lavaring it up in my hair. My fingers swept through my long back locks. _Alec lightwood...yes or no?_ I washed out the shampoo and sighed. _Why was everything so complicated?_ I leaned against the wall of the shower. At the hospital Alec was so...nice. He was different from the guy I had seen at school. At school he was either making some kids life a living hell, of being a silent jerk and pissing everyone off. I tuned the tap off, and then wrapped a towel around my body. I put some new clothes on, and walked back into the bedroom. I sat on my bed and pulled my journal from beneath my mattress.

_Dear Journal, _

_Why Is everything so confusing? Since starting Bellcourt Academy; I've met a guy called Adam Vincient. Who has been so nice to me and I consider him a friend. He's funny and actually pretty cute. Even if he isn't quite talkative. He has helped me find most my classes and is even in most of them. But like a couple of days after I started school, I was in the park - you know the place - and these two guys; one with black hair and the other with white blonde hair, beat me up. It hurt like hell and I didn't remember most of it. When I woke up in hospital, you wouldn't guess who walked into my hospital room. ALEXANDER LIGHTWOOD! well..Alec, but I like Alexander sooo much better. He said that he was the one who brought me to the hospital, and even wanted to know if I was alright. We even played 20 questions! He' s really sweet when he wants to be, and he blushed on several occasions. How many bad guys blush!? I want to see if we can be good friends...but I don't know if he's willing to risk it. I think that the two guys he's always around did this to me; but I can't be sure._

_Should I try, and be his friend, maybe something even more. Or should I give up?_

_ ~ Magnus _

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**A/N: I'm suupperrr sorry I haven't updated in a while! I got stuck. Soo what do you think? Make any sense?**  
**  
**

**_Sneak peak:_**

_I glanced over at Alec again, and he was already looking at me. He smiled; I noticed it was slightly crooked. I ducked my head._

_"What was that about?"_

_Adam asked; the curiosity strong in his voice, and maybe a hint of...jealousy?_

_"Alec brought me to the hospital, after I got beat up. It's no big deal," I shrugged._

_"It is; cause' Alec doesn't do anything for free. Can you help me?"_

_"Sure,"_

_"Get him to trust you, and then let me crush him. I'm tired of him acting like he owns this school."_

**OOOOOHHHHHHH! Scary Adam! **_  
_

**Read and Review! Love you allll!  
**

**Sarah, xx  
**


	11. Oh, the possibilities

**A/N: Sorry this is sooooooooooo late! I've been supperr busy, and haven't been able to get near a computer so I could update; as well as having writers block :( but I'm updating now cause' I got inspiration! **

**Special thanks to: lovingbites, malec. love, Dolfija, Pale. Is. The. New. Tan! Thanks prettys!**

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_**Chapter 11: Oh, the possibilities. **_

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His hair bounced wildly at his movements. His muscles tightening and un-tightening. His slightly crooked smile; smiling at the enemy. His striking eyes scanned the field in an erratic manner, but his easy smile contradicted his entire posture. I propped my chin on my hand and sighed. _Why was he so fucking adorable? _A whistle blew, and he quickly dived for the ball. Holding it; he weaved in and out of the opposite team, while the rest of his team defended him. When he dived onto the grass, his whole team cheered. I smirked at all of their childishness. I leaned against the bleachers and laughed.

"They are all completely utterly crazy!"

Adam laughed at my comment. I was true though; they all looked like a bunch of gorillas. Apart from thumping their chests, although there was a couple of guys doing that as well. I chuckled, and I glanced over to the mass of cheering boys. I looked over towards where Alec stood triumphantly grinning. He dove a hand into his hair and brushed it back, as a failed attempt to tame his wild black hair. A small grin fluttered onto my face. Alec's beautiful baby blues connected with mine, and his lips curved into a genuine smile. I briefly smiled back, blushed, and then ducked my head in embarrassment. _What's wrong with me? Since when did I become such a teenager fricking' girl? _Since last nights journal entry; I had thought about my options with Alec. I wanted to talk about him with Adam, but he was a guy, and I had kind of guessed by now that he doesn't really like Alec. I sighed at how everything seemed so hopeless.

"What was that about?"

I looked over to Adam; curiosity was strong in his voice, and maybe a hint of...jelousy?

"Alec brought me to the hospital, after I got beat up. It's no big deal," I shrugged.

Adam opened his mouth to speak, but faltered and closed it again. He looked away, and a growing ball of worry in my gut tightened ever so slowly. It was a painful reminder of how much of a stranger I was in this town. How much baggage I carried around with me; that no one in his right mind would want to hear about. I looked down and I felt the tears pricking at the side of my eyes. I was a stranger; I had no right to have someone like me, or love me after what I did. I clamped my eyes shut, and got up from my spot against the bleachers. I was fed up of being the weak kid who always gets picked on, and has no friends. Tomorrow is going to be a new Magnus Bane, but for now I think I'm going to curl up in the bathroom and cry.

"Magnus! Wait up!"

I turned around, and scrubbed at my eye vigorously. I turned around slowly to see Adam's worried face. He stepped forward and engulfed me in a hug. I was slightly taller than him, yet he was the perfect height; I could just lay my head on his shoulder. Standing in his embrace; I wanted to ask him what Alec had done, but I wasn't sure if I could stomach the answer, but I had a way of asking questions when I don't want to hear answers. I buried my face into his shoulder and mumbled.

"What happened between you and Alec?"

Adam stiffened. I took my head off his shoulder and got out of his embrace, and I looked him in the eyes. I meant business. Adam sighed and run a hand down his face.

"I'll tell you at lunch."

The rest of the class started making their way back to the locker rooms, but before I could get anything out of Adam he walked off and left me dazed. What had Alec done? What had Adam done? What happened between them? I sure as hell didn't know! I bit my lip and picked at my nail polish.

"C'mon' Mags' we don't wanna' be the last out of the locker room!"

Alec yelled as he ran past me; with a soft smirk and a twinkle in his blue eyes. I laughed, he was so nice I didn't understand why he was so hated. I was looking forward to English lit. but I was dreading lunch.

* * *

**(AdAm PoV.)**

_Damn you Magnus. You fucking nosy bastard. All you have done__ since you first saw Alec; was screw his brains out. I see the pure lust and adoration in your eyes when you look at him. Well, guess what? Your precious little Alexander isn't as perfect as you want to believe. He's done stuff that only I know about. He is rotten fruit; left for to long on his own. He's gone bad. Maybe if you came here a couple of years ago; you would have bagged a sweet innocent boy, but he'd hurt you first, before letting inside his heart. ohh, Alec. I miss you. I really miss you; I wished I never chickened out in freshman year, but it was for your own good. I love you, Alexander lightwood, my beautiful ex. _

I clenched my hands into fists inside my hoodie. My face was hidden, and my body was shaking as I walked. Familiar faces passed me, familiar scenes throughout the hallway. I turned left and stalked towards my locker. I opened it, and grabbed my books and waited. Two people stopped next to my locker on both sides, and opened their lockers. I smirked; they finally got away from him.

"I see you guys actually did it, and got away from princess? well done,"

I saw; more than heard them, but their silent smirks were a good enough answer.

"So what will you do Ad'?"

The boy on my right questioned. I chuckled, and took a small breath.

"you guys will find out soon enough."

I stalked off towards geometry, and left them staring after me with annoyed confused looks on their faces.

* * *

**(MaGnUs PoV.)**

My heart was still fluttering from the small amount of interaction I had with Alec, but Adam's cryptic 'I'll tell you at lunch' was eating away at me. The recent beating that I had from Blondie and Black haired guy had shaken me to my core. Evey thing and anything...scared me shitless. If someone motley resembled them, freaked me out; all these thought were running and crashing around my skull and were giving me a pulsating headache. I deliberated on skipping English, yet the pulsing in my head won in the end as i grew closer to the classroom. I turned around at the last-minute before the teacher could see me, and ran towards the nearest available bathroom. I rammed my body into the door; not really caring about the pain that shot all over my chest. my breathing became erratic and i became really dizzy. I was sweating even more now, and I dived into the nearest stool, and I threw up.

I choked and gagged on the bile that rose up my throat, and burned my oesophagus. When I thought I was done; I wasn't. I just retched ad coughed up small amounts of blood. I heard a door open in the distance faintly, yet I didn't care, nor did I want to. I shut my eyes and let the uncontrollable shaking take over my body. I hadn't done this in such a long time, I breathed in and out harshly, and got all choked up. My knees buckled and I fell onto the hard floor or the unlocked cubicle crying and shaking; before I completed the whole process by fainting.

I didn't know how long I was out for, but wherever I was now; smelt like citrus and aftershave. I turned towards the smell and breathed in deeply. It startled me when the thing my sore head was rested on; moved. I shot up forwards, and sat up. I gasped at the sudden movement and held my stomach. I swiveled round on the lino floor. Tightening my eye's; I stuttered out an apology. The person who sat in front of me chuckled, and then grabbed my hand. I stopped babbling and gasped. I tightened my hand around the other persons. When I opened my fake cat eyes; I smiled. Alec's face was open and sincere.

"What happened Magnus?"

I gulped, and blew out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"I threw up...I guess I was nervous or something."

Alec's face became a blank mask, but before the thought could get fully processed; his face contorted into sadness and curiosity. He didn't say anything though, yet all he did was nod. I smiled sadly at him. He was so nice and genuine...what had he done to Adam in the past? He let go of my hand, and I had to suppress the sigh that I wanted to heave. He got up from the spot he sat, and held his hand out to me, but I just stared at him. It was a big decision for me to make. I stared up into his big blue eyes and at his easy smile. Then I thought back to the last guy I liked; I had opened my heart to him, but instead of taking my heart; he took my virginity. Maybe he wouldn't have had forced me it on me how and when he did, if I had given up myself to him sooner. I nervously gulped, and felt the bile starting to rise in my throat and the fear twisting inside my gut, but I stayed locked inside his gaze. I didn't want to let him go; when he wasn't pushing me away. In closed my eyes again for a quick moment, for this was going to scare me, and excite me all at the same time; the possibility.

I opened my eyes to him, and then grabbed his outstretched hand. He hauled my body up towards his. i landed encased inside his arms and the slow steady heart beat soothing all my fears. We stayed like that; him embracing me, and me holding onto him as best I could, all the while slouching so I could snuggle into his broad chest. My legs hurt, but I wasn't complaining. For this brief moment; I pretended that Alec Lightwood was mine, and I was his, but I knew it wasn't true. I'd never be his. For some reason or another; we were completely focused on each other. We didn't notice the opening of the bathroom door, or the dark disgusted look that was cast into our direction, or the closing of the door. Alec's face was buried in my shoulder, and I was blissfully pretending that he was my boyfriend. Oh, the possibilities.

* * *

**A/N: IM SO SORRY I HADN'T UPDATE IN A DECADE - exaggeration much? -BUT I'M SORRYYYYY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! **

**Anyway; super-duper sorry about leaving this story. Also, I won't be able to update a soon as i want, school started last week so if I have homework it'll be late, but apart from that I have no other excuses to abandon this apart from writers block. Butttttt I'm over that now :) **

_**Sneak peak:**_

_"Are you serious? So; you're gay?"_

_I laughed; I just freaking explained that I used to date Alec, which part didn't regested in his thick skull? _

_"Well, why else would I go out with a guy; unless I was gay?"_

_Magnus laughed, and I wanted to do nothing else but shove my burger down his vegetarian throat, and watch his choke to death out of shock and guilt. God, he is so fucking annoying!_

**I'm giving Magnus a bit more stuff to deal with; he needs to toughen up, cause it's going to be hard being Alec's boyfriend. :( But please keep reading! **

**Love you all!**

**ReViEw! Please? **

**Sarah xox**


	12. Misguided thoughts

A**/N: Sorry this has taken sooo friggin long to upload. Soooooo I've finally had a little time to type up chapter 12.**

**Also! This fic won't every be dis-continued. If I don't update it is either cause' I'm really busy, or am plain lazy, but it will never be dis-continued :)**

**Special thanks to: Pale. Is. The. New. Tan, princesssatz, and my 4 guests! Thanks for reading and then reviewing and keeping my spirits up that people are still reading! ^.^**

* * *

_**Chapter 12: Misguided thoughts**_

* * *

Walking into the canteen; I was hit by a tone of emotion. It erupted into my gut like fire, and consumed my perception on what I saw, and what I wanted to see. In alternate reality; I would be happily walking up to Adam. We would hug, sit down, and talk about random shit. Alec would never be the 'bad boy of the school', and would wrap his strong muscular arms around me from behind. I would giggle, and he would kiss me chastely, but it would still take my breath away. This was life though; things like that never happened unless you were completely, utterly perfect...which; sadly I wasn't. I calmed my raging emotions and stepped towards Adam, who once again, was happily tucking into a beef burger, while shoving as many fries into his mouth in a small span of time. I groaned quietly; so he couldn't hear me. Why did he have to eat that in front of me everyday? And does he actually eat anything else? I timidly sat down next to hims, and patiently waited for him to say something - anything. The noise of the canteen filled in for our silence. His eyes connected with mine, and he placed his burger - what was left of it - onto the tray. Adam cleared his throat, folded his arms, and leaned back into the plastic chair with a mysterious look plastered to his face. I waited silently; while trying to decipher the look on his face, but within a blink of an eye, he obviously schooled his features, and spoke.

" Alec is my ex,"

i choked loudly on my cola that I was drinking, and stared at him bug-eyed. _They were boyfriends once! That would be why he acted so fucking jealous! _I clapped my can onto the table, and chugged the rest of coke that was in my mouth; before I blurted:

"Boyfriends?"

Adam rubbed his head in - what I guessed - embarrassment, and the fear in my chest fluttered, and the nausea twisted painfully in my stomach. I lov- liked Alec, and he was Adams ex; my only real friend here. I glanced to where said boy was; his eyes were already focused intently on me, with a small smile gracing his perfect lips, and a light dusting of a blush was on his cheeks. _How mother-fucking adorable! _I gasped as our eyes connected, and sharply turned my head towards Adam; to find him to gazing at Alec, but his eyes sparkled with sadness.

"How'd you guys break up?"

It was a simple question, nothing but that. It was innocent. Adam looked at me, and opened his mouth to speak.

* * *

**(AdAm PoV)**

I wanted to half smirk - half snarl at Magnus; when he asked how me and Alec broke up, but at the same time it was painful. Old wounds never do heal, especially when I caused this wound myself. My own ignorance. I looked at his fake cat eyes; his tongue flicked out to wet his lips. I wondered silently if he was hurt in the past...I quickly pushed tat thought to the back of my head. Magnus' gaze was completely focused on me, and...I was loving the attention. I took a breath; acting as if I was nervous, but I was actually smirking a little inside

"We got together near homecoming in freshman year, I was a sophomore and Alec - well, Alec was just a really smart nerdy kid..."

**_We bolted out of the classroom, I looked behind me a bit; making sure Alec was still there. I still have no idea what I see in this shy kid, but he's cute. _**

**_"Wanna' bunk next lesson?" I wiggled my eyebrows; waiting for the instant reply of 'I can't' or 'Maybe another day', but to my surprise; It sounded like he was thinking it through, because of the silence I received from him for a couple of minutes. I felt a hand touch mine, and looked down. Alec was holding my hand? Alec was holding my hand! I smiled at that small sign of affection from him. The shy boy, quickly, but quietly giggled out a "Yes" and we ran towards the gym. _**

**_I dragged Alec into the gym; quickly - wasting no time - pushing him up against the mirrors, and taking his mouth, while corrupting his cavern with my strong wet muscle. He didn't fight for dominance, and I loved that about him. After a few minutes of making out, Alec gently nudged me on the shoulder, and we both breathed out a sigh of happiness. I slowly moved my hands from the wall; as my wrists were cramping, and moved them slowly down until they rested on his hips. His eye fluttered open, and I looked into his deep baby blues. He surprised me by charging forward, and capturing my lips in a sweet tender kiss, like no other kiss I had experienced. He broke the kiss, and whispered:_**

**_"will you go to homecoming with me?"_**

**_I stayed silent, and in that moment; I knew I had lost him forever, but really...I wasn't ready to come out, and neither was he. It was better that way. _**

Magnus wiped his eyes, and sighed. I just let half of my history out to the idiot. Crap; this wasn't part of the plan. I wasn't ment to like him. I wasn't ment to think that he was hot..._Oh, crap! I'm screwed._ Magnus threw his arms around me, and I almost lt he tears fall, but I hated Magnus. No. I hated how I like him, I don't hate _him. _I hate how he doesn't like me the same way, and most of all_;_ I hate myself. I silently snuggled into Magnus' arms; wishing things weren't so freaking complicated, and that I didn't have to use him in my big master plan, for what Alec did to me after we broke up.

* * *

**(AlEc PoV.)**

It was slightly funny; watching Adam tell Magnus about us, although he told the fucking story wrong. I didn't care about that; I cared about him making me look like the bad guy. I was staring at Magnus since he entered the canteen. He was so...perfect. Their was no other word to describe him. I watched him so carefully; when he propped his hand under his chin, looking towards Adam, I had to lip read everything. What Adam said shocked me; I didn't expect him to relieve so much to Magnus. I wanted to believe that Magnus wouldn't take his side in things. I hoped that he would stick around to hear my side of the story. I know Adam didn't tell Magnus everything; he left out one small detail, which I wasn't proud of. I was angry with him for outing me to my homophobic parents, and the fact that he made me think that he actually, generally liked me, but in the end I had no excuse for what I did. I was a selfish bastard. With one last look at their table; I walked towards Camille. I sat down beside her with a sigh.

"What's up Blue?"

I rolled my eyes at the nickname, and that made her smile more. She loved my eyes. I guess she liked the blueness?

"Boys,"

I let the word come out as a sigh, and all the girls that surrounded Camille became quiet. They all knew, but it still gave me a shiver when I said anything that did make my sexuality known. Their accepting faces turned towards me, and if they were an animal they would be a puppy. They would all have big floppy ears, and an excited wagging tail. I laughed at my dry humour.

"Who has you hooked?"

If they were anyone else; I would have thought thy were talking about a drug dealer, but because it was them. I honestly replied. These girls knew boys; and I wasn't so good at this subject. I gulped, and my eyes darted looks around the girls at the table. I looked at my hands that rested on the table. I lifted my left hand off the table, and pointed towards Magnus' table.

In an instant I had the girls happily saying the two boys names. Camille, and another girl - Maia i think - looked at each other quickly, and then hushed everyone.

"Which boy Blue?"

I mouthed 'I hate you' towards her. She always made me say it; even when she know exactly who it was.

"M-magnus,"

A ring of 'aaawwwww' sounded out from around the table, and I felt the warmth spread alone my cheeks. Things pretty soon started to get really loud, but all I could think about; was the talk glittery boy, that was looking right at me.

I wanted to smirk, or mouth some dirty words to him, but all I could do was stare at him with a small smile glued to my face. Magnus' face looked undecided. As if he wanted to believe Adam, but also wanted to give me a chance. I started to get up, but Camille tugged on the sleeve of my jacket and towed me towards our lesson instead. We walked in silence. We weren't good friends, but she was always there if I needed her. I smiled. I guess if I was straight; she would be all I wanted in a woman. She was smart, caring, truthful, but a bit of a bitch on the outside. I was okay with that, but I'm not straight. I'm gay, and I Alexander Gideon Lightwood have a defiant crush on Magnus Bane.

* * *

I walked out of the car, and quickly jogged to the little opening in the trees. I parted them quickly, and slipped inside of the comforting canopy of the trees. It was so green up here, and the only time when you saw the sky was when you looked straight up. I walked right into the middle of the place that was surrounded by trees, and spun around. Out here; when I'm all alone. It's okay to be that nerdy, shy, closed-off freshman; who seemed to have disappeared. It was here where I ran to after I was outed. It was here where I practiced be the guy who I am today. It is here that I can let go. I breathed in the smell of the lake water. That indescribable smell that I loved; weaving itself through my mind and body. I kicked my sneakers off, and pulled my socks off. I slipped my feet into the pale lake water.

The feeling of the soft current curled around my feet, wrapping itself around the skin, penetrating the flesh into my bones. I breathed out a sigh of relief; no thoughts, no people, no guilt...nothing. Pure nothingness. When I was alone like this; it was different, but one ting still remained the same. I couldn't stop thinking about Magnus. His eyes were imprinted in my mind, and the way his lip curved and created small dimples when he smiled. I haven't really talked to him, but when I held him earlier today...I felt something. Something I hadn't let myself feel until I let Adam in. I let myself fall backward onto the grass. I looked again up to the sky, and wished that I could happily be me without the hassle of being Alec.

**"Someone kill the DJ**

**Shoot the fucking DJ**

**Someone kill the DJ**

**Shoot the fucking DJ" **

I grunted in annoyance; I lifted myself of the soft grass, and answered the ringing device.

"Yeah?"

_"That's no way to treat a friend," _Was the blunt reply.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean that to come out so rude,"

_"Ha! I believe you.."_

"Hm. So what do you want?"

_"I believe it is what you want, which of course I have."_

I gasped as soon as I caught on who it was. I made sure I listened to him well, and when I spoke; there was not a hint of sarcasm. My body was slightly buzzing from the news, but I didn't want what he had to offer...or did I? I didn't know anymore. Before I could accept something; that I know I will regret. I said I would meet him tomorrow, but for now I wanted to be happy without the help of something else. I hung up on him, and left the beautiful area once again.

* * *

When I entered the house; I didn't think. I just walked into the dining room, and sat down. I was so focused; I missed the shocked look that stayed glued to Izzy's face for a while, I didn't notice the small squeeze on my shoulder from Jace, and I also didn't notice that my _father _wasn't here, and Maryse wasn't kicking me out. When her and Iz' set all the food on the table; I sat quietly next to Jace. I waited for everyone else to get their food; before I slowly, and carefully took a small plate of my own. Mayrse was going to scold me, but she didn't for once. i listened to their light conversation. Not once did that man come up, not once did they offer to include me, but that was probably for the best. I didn't trust my brain-to-moth filter. It needed to be fixed. I looked down at my plate, and let my hair cover my face. This - right here - was what I had wanted through those years of abuse. I finished my food, and quietly - almost timidly - asked:

"May I be excused?"

I never looked up once; I just stared blankly at the wall opposite me. I heard a fork clatter against a plate, and a few gasps, but I didn't care. I just wanted an answer.

"Of course, Alec."

I almost choked on my spit, but briskly got up for the table with my plate. I went into the kitchen, and laughed. _Holy fuck! _I hoped that small endearment of using the name everyone else called me was good news. Other-wise I was in deep shit. I went upstairs, and fell onto my pale grey bed sheets. The rough texture comforting. Wen I didn't sleep here; I slept at Sabastions, or in my car. Not the most comfortable places in the world. I kicked my sneakers off, and slipped under the covers. For the first time in four years; I finally slept with a smile on my face. Little did I know; that Maryse snuck into my room later that night; pulled the covers up to my chin, and gave me a brief kiss on the forehead, before leave while soft saying:

"I'm sorry I hurt you Alec."

* * *

**A/N: HAHAHAHAH Im back! Woo i hope this was long enough for you all, and I will try to type up chapter 13 ASAP! **

**Gawd this chapter went everywhere T.T**

**Oh well! If you are reading my ramblings of a crazy person! Thank you for actually reading my fic again!**

**^.^**

**Pleeaze review! I want your ideas on how you want this to pan out:**

**Want to keep the suspense building up between everyone? with Malec angst and romance on the side?**

**or**

**To get Malec together soon, but have our Adam drama on the side?**

**SOooooo pick 1 or 2, cause It would really help!**

**Love you all, **

**Sarah xx **


	13. Storms make great company

**A/N: Half term! haha, which means a speedy update from meee. :) I got a lot of inspiration by Blood on the dance floors new song "Don't want to be like you" I haven't studied the lyrics of the meaning of the song, but I get the song - if you know what I mean. So the song prompted for me to write this chapter. Throughout Alec' pov I was listening to AdrianvonZiegler on Youtube, and boy is the music beautiful :) **

**Big thank you for: Aikarri, babyphat5968, princesssatz, Pale. Is. The. New. Tan, thisgirldanielle, TeamJemTeamMalec (another thank you, and welcome back :), and mychemicalbitchbot. For all your amazing feedback :)**

* * *

_**Chapter 13: Storms make great company **_

* * *

_Fag_

_Fairy_

_Glitter queen_

_Homo_

I let the words wash over my skin. The jibs, slurs, and insults…I let them say it, yet I always acted as if I didn't care. It's now the third time I've been in hospital; since I came to the half-way house. The first time I got beat up by Black, and White haired boys; I also met Alexander for te first time, and I had a fair amount of injuries. The second time; no one knew about. I got pushed into some lockers, and my back got really bruised. This time; I passed out. I was - half - staving myself. I didn't mean to; No matter what I ate...it just seemed to come back up again. I was terrified every time I walked down a corridor. I sighed in the examining room; I was sick of always ending up here after school. My eyes were drawn to clock; the constant annoying ticking, and the small hands moving around in a circle...never changing...unless I threw it on the floor. My eyes darted around the clean white room; not noticing dust, or any imperfections in this small area. It was stifling. The perfectly painted blue door to my left opened, and closed again. My eyes flicker into the direction of where the Doctor was, and then returned to the clock again.

"Mr. Bane; your iron, calcium, and victims are strangely low. Are you eating enough?"

He gave me a sympathetic look, but it was full of pity. Pity I didn't want, or need. I gritted my teeth.

"I am eating."

The elder man sighed, but didn't say anything; never the less he gave me a piece of paper with some pills he's prescribed me, to help with my lack of stuff. I grabbed my bag, and swiftly exited the white room. I hissed as my legs went stiff in protest. I gave the nurse my prescription, and sighed as she sorted out the medication I - apparently - needed. When she handed me the small white bag; I snatched it off her, and stiffly walked away from her rantings of 'ducking grass mole' and 'stupid witch'. I pushed the door open, and walked out to the dark, rainy world. My once normal hair; was tossed over my shoulders, and it got knotted and fell in a tangled mess down my back. My normal covered eyes; had no such protection from the slurs, and beatings. My clothes that were once bright, and flamboyant; were dark. Only small amounts of colour appeared on my outfit; like my bright green shoelaces, or my black and pink stripped gloves. The weather had taken a turn for the worst recently. Instead of the hot cloudy days at the start of the school year; I got dark, cold, windy, wet days that I dreaded.

My shamrock green eyes watered for the harsh winds, and I longed to go home to the warm half-way house, but I couldn't go there yet. I needed to think, and I needed to face my fears. The slight pulsing in my wrist reminded me of 'the attack', my ribs healed surprisingly fast, but my wrist was gone for life. It still hurt no matter what I did; even writing was a chore. I hosted my backpack higher up on my shoulder, and set off into the direction of the park.

* * *

**(AlEc. Pov)**

The wind whipped around my face; making my olive coloured hair covered my eyes, and the leaves of the trees sway, and fall onto the ground. My icy hands clung to the metal chains of the swings. As the leaves fell, so did my desire to stop everything; the drugs seemed to burn my flesh where they sat in my breast pocket. My fingers itched to take a smudge, and inhale it. I groaned, and let my head fall back. The rain poured on my face; drowning all my bad thoughts, but it didn't help much to clear my head. I scrunched my eyes shut, and just let my mind wander. I never came here to think. It was always the sanctuary; the open space of beauty that was untouched, and unknown to everyone else, but me and Izzy'. The small area that was more of a home, than Lightwood manor ever was. My leather jacket made the tears of water from the sky bounce playfully on it; before falling to the ground. My jeans and sneakers were cold, and soaked through with the water.

I opened my eyes to the darkening world. A few birds flew across the sky; heading towards their nests to look after their young. I sighed, and lifted my hood over my already wet hair. As the water cascaded around me; I began a slow steady rhythm on the swing. _Back and forward, back and forward... _It was a nice effect with the rain falling around me, and my shoes sliding along the ground underneath.

"There's going to be a storm"

I breathed out the words softly; waiting for first thunder-clap. The swing frame creaked and clanged; before it made a groan of protest. Who ever I had beside me now was either here because; they needed to get away - like me - or, they were crazy. I turned my head to the direction of the hard, but shallow breathing of the occupant of the other swing next to me. The hood barely covered his beautiful face; his face was a pale tan, with bits of fairly long hair clinging to his face...and his eyes. They once shocked me, but I got used to them; now though...they were a colour of deep green. The colour was deep, and dark; although not so dark that the green didn't stand out. The colour was almost like the shade that I mostly saw in the sanctuary. Dark, and beautiful.

"Hey Magnus,"

He turned his face to meet mine; his eyes widened in shock, and the sad haunted look in his eyes faded. His lips turned into a smile, and I chuckled at his reaction. My swinging had stopped, and I gave him a reassuring smile. He smiled slightly back, and I dared ask the million dollar question:

"Why are you out here? It's raining, and it's fucking cold,"

Magnus glanced at me wearily, but replied sarcastically:

"I could ask you the same thing,"

I gulped, but I wanted to carry this pointless conversation somewhere, so it wouldn't end. I'd had enough time on my own, and I have had enough of it. He's the first guy who didn't run, and scream in horror. He's the first guy; who hasn't been scared off by Adam. He's the first guy since Adam; that I'm letting myself get lost in. They were complete opposites, but so was me and Magnus; I didn't care. I wanted to know him, and I wanted him to know me.

"I needed to think...nothing seems...you know..."

I trailed off sadly. My shoulders slumped, and I blew some strands of hair out of my face. My cerulean eyes met with his non-contacted ones, and I gasped. "You're not wearing contact lenses?"

Magnus giggled, nodded shyly and covered his eyes. The rain was slowly stopping; I dove forward, and grabbed Magnus' hands, and pulled them away from his face. His shamrock eyes lit up brightly, and we both sat on the swings; me holding his hands with stupid grins stuck to our faces. I lifted my left hand from his; sweeping the wet hair from his face, and placing it inside his hood. At the same time gently touching his face. It was wrong of me to act like this, and touch him so freely, but with him I was a mixture of Alec and Alexander. It was confusing being with him. The bold, out going, sarcastic side of Alec, and the shy, withdrawn, innocence of Alexander.

I got up off the swing, and let his hand go. I grabbed both of our bags off of the cold ground; then dove back, and pulled his hand that didn't get injured. We stood next to each other, and I gave him his backpack to carry. I gave him a lopsided grin, which he returned fully. "Want me to walk you home?"

* * *

**(mAgNuS. pOv)**

It was always like this with a guy; we talk, we have a laugh, we flirt, and then the big question: "want me to walk you home?" Normally it was always a shy, hinted questions to get into my pants...but with Alec I could believe he didn't just want sex. It was a two-way answer; yes, or no. I wanted to say no, like always, but his reassuring gaze, and the small smile gracing his normally passive lips, made me say yes.

"Okay,"

He looked a little shocked ,and a bit taken aback by my answer, so he reassured himself - I guess.

"Okay?"

A gave a nervous laugh, and internally slapped myself - Magnus bane was not shy or timid. He was out-going, and made boys drop on their knees at his old school, but that was before _him._

Alec nodded slowly; he walked in front of me, and I trailed behind him slowly. His hood was still up, and I noticed while I was so close to him, that he was shorter than me. Only by and inch or so, but never the less he was shorter. He was different from me though. I was all long legs, and tanned skin, with a terrible personality; he was in complete proportion, beautiful pale skin, and...a confusing personality. We got out of the park, and Alec stopped in front of a black Mustang convertible. My eyes almost fell out of my skull. _Holy shit! A fucking Mustang...that must have cost a bloody fortune, holy hell... _Alec looked at me, and smirked.

"Magnus. You have a little drool on your chin."

I started rubbing at my chin, and Alec laughed; loud, and musical. I liked it. I playfully punched him on the shoulder, Alec just kept laughing. I crossed my arms in front of my chest, and Alec opened the car, and I slipped into his car as well. He slipped inside; put his keys in tuned them, and Adam Lambert plays loudly out of the speakers. I grin at Alec's perfect choice of music.

* * *

**A/N: I knoww this chapter is short, and pretty rubbish. I'll make it up to you in the next chapter, and that won't be up for a little while. School is giving me loads of homework, but I'll upload when I can :) **

**im super sorry !  
**

**And  
**

**Review? ****  
**

**- Sarah x  
**


	14. Music, fights, and narcotics

**A/N: I'm back so soon :D**

**After I uploaded the last chapter; my fingers would not stop writing, and this one idea kept bugging me, so I wrote. Safe to safe I have forgotten about any homework that may be due, and have only worked on this. **

**Just to see what you all think should I up the rating later on? When our Malec do get together, should I have some smut, or lemons? I don't know, so wat ever you people want :)**

**Thank you to my reviewers: Guest, and lovingbites (Did you read my mind? hehe)  
**

*****Beware this chapter has, er, drug use, and I think it's pretttyyyyy descriptive.***  
**

**So onto Chapter 14 (I can't believe I have gotten this far hehe)  
**

* * *

_**Chapter 14: Music, fights, and narcotics**_

* * *

I was so embarrassed when Adam Lambert's 'Fever' stated playing loudly throughout the car. I blushed, and it felt like my entire boy had turned a pale shade of pink. I gulped at the lyrics...boy did they explain my feelings completely.

_**we'll never go to far**_

_**Just you me and the bar**_

_**Silly ménage à trois**_

_**Sometimes**_

_**Would you be m-mine**_

_**Would you be m-mine**_

_**Would you be m-mine**_

_**Oh baby!**_

I gulped a the suggestiveness of the song. Yeah sure; I was suggestive, and crude, but it wasn't meant to come out that way. I was terrified at the thought of sex. I pushed my foot down on the pedal, and tightened my grip around the steering wheel. _Why did it have to be Adam! And my car just had to play this song! _I faintly heard Magnus singing alone, and I smiled; maybe having this song play was a good idea...I quickly abolished the thought, and focused on driving.

"Could I pick a song? The house is quiet far..."

Magnus asked faintly, and tentatively. I wanted to take his hand, and comfort him, or what ever normal people did, but I just nodded and said 'yeah sure'. Magnus quickly grabbed my Ipod off the docking station, and scrolled through the songs. My heart was in my mouth; all my songs - somehow - related to that subject I was most scared of. I had a lot of 'emo' bands on my Ipod too, and I was scared about what artist Magnus would choose, so I waited patiently; while sweat dripped itself down my back, and my hand involuntarily clenched around the steering wheel painfully. I focused on driving, and stared out into the dark road that was ahead of me. My car lights lit up the road; I flicked my gaze to the clock, and sighed. Magnus was right. It was quiet a way to the house where he lived. It was close to the school, but the park we were just in was far away. I wondered hwy magnus was so far away from where he live. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind quickly. I kept focused, but we sat in silence, while Magnus picked a song, for minutes? Hours? I didn't know, but finally the opening jazzy tune to 'I'll Tumble 4 ya' rang throughout the speakers.

Magnus placed the Ipod on the station again, and I so wanted to look at his face. I guessed what his expression was; by the small escalating in volume of a laugh. I quickly looked at him, and gave him a playful glare, while stifling my amusement. How did he find Culture club on there?

_**I'll tumble for ya**_

_**I'll tumble for ya**_

_**I'll tumble for you**_

I was slightly bobbing my head to the happy jazz like beat. A breathy laugh escaped out of my mouth, and I heard myself singing along to the song. Tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, as I navigated us through the dark streets; Magnus' voice slowly, but strongly joined mine. It was strange, and we were both singing quietly to the it, soon enough though; we were belting out the lyrics we both knew loudly. My tapping had become instinctual, and rhythmical, and in time. Out the corner of my eye; Magnus was watching me intently. His shamrock eyes danced brightly, and I wanted so much to look into them, but if I did...we would probably crash, and I think he'd kill me if I crashed the car.

As the song ended; Magnus turned down the music. The soft melody of a new song; that I knew was called 'Lullaby' flitted around the small space of my car. A comfortable - half - silence came over us, and I became instantly shy, but I started a conversation anyway.

"You know...we never finished twenty question when you were in -"

I cut myself off before I completed the sentence; I heard the quick intake of breath from Magnus, and my blue orbs danced their way over to him. Before I openly gazed at him; I turned my head towards the road again. I gulped; ashamed of myself for bringing up such a depressing subject, when we were - kind of - getting along.

"Yeah I know. Wanna' finish the game?"

I sighed in relief, and Gave a hearty chuckle; before turning briefly towards Magnus, and nodding happily. "I take that as a yes then. Did you go out with Adam?"

I gulped at his question. He was getting straight to the point, and I heard the pain, and regret in his voice. My hands tightened around the wheel, and my knuckles began to go white; just like my face. I took a breath. I said I wanted to get to know him more; it's only fair he gets some information out of me as well.

"Yeah I did. Have you had a boyfriend?"

Magnus' head turned to the window, and he stared out of the glass, looking at the street lamps, and the rain drops.

"...yeah. How could you dump him like that, and then tell the whole school?"

The anger in his voice was ablaze, and my eyes almost fell out of my skull, and I swerved a bit in shock, and I kept silent. I tried to keep the anger and hatred out of my voice when I spoke, but it all came rushing out, and I knew soon enough I would be in front of the house, and Magnus would leave.

"I did not break up with him!" I hissed at him. " _He _broke _my_ heart! Not the other way around you know. Yes I told the whole fucking school about him, but he was my first boyfriend, and he screwed me over like never before. Believe what you want, but I know the truth."

My little rant shocked us both, and for the rest of the journey we were both silent., and deep in thought.

* * *

**_So ro-o-oll the dice_**

**_Get lu-u-cky tonight_**

_**I know your holdin' back**_

_**No more hesitation  
**_

_**Just come on  
**_

_**I want your naked love  
**_

_**So don't you dress it up toni-i-ght  
**_

_**come on  
**_

_**You know you naked love  
**_

_**Is what I'm dreamin' of toni-i-ght  
**_

I wanted to punch something...and myself. We were both mad at each other; I was mad at him for thinking _I_ had hurt that _bastard_, and he was mad...at _me_. Magnus had curled up in the passenger seat, and just stared out the window. I got fed up with his silence, so I turned my Ipod up. I was on the third song, and I was figiting in agitation. My hands had relaxed from their painful grasp on the steering wheel, and my back was now rested firmly against the driver seat, instead of it being held stiff, and rigid. I had given up the fight. I sighed softly, and pulled into the half-way houses drive way. As soon as I parked; Magnus grabbed his bag, and bolted from my car...and me. He slammed the door shut, but not before saying:

"Your right. I _can_ believe what I want!"

Magnus bolted from my car, and went inside his home. My face fell into my hands, and I turned my Ipod off. I needed silence. I quickly cut the engine, and sat in the car park. Maybe shouting at him wasn't the best idea that had come to me. I wiped my hands on my damp jeans. I sat for a few more minutes; before I could start the car, and drive home - which sounded foreign in my head - a figure of a woman came running across the car park in the drizzle of the rain, and tapped on the window, before slipping inside the car.

The womans neatly cut black hair, and light Asian features reminded me of Magnus, and I sighed. Crap. I was going to get scolded. When the woman faced me, my face became a picture of shock. She had dark, deep brown eyes; that were curved, and had high, prominent cheekbones. Last time I saw this woman; I was thirteen, and she had long, think wavy hair, that stretched to her waist. He beautiful face broke out into a small grin, and I returned it; even though I know she was here to do something else. I cleared my throat:

"Aline?"

She laughed; her eyes crinkling,and grinning widely, like she was relived that I remembered her. "Where have you been? Why are you here? I haven't seen you in ages!"

"Well; my mother, and your father weren't on such good terms. Mum thought it was better we distanced ourselves from your family. And I work here. I look after all the kids."

She gave a small smile; as she talked about her job. I could tell she was passionate about it. I wanted to say I was sorry about my father, but he wasn't _my_ anything. I was glad Aline had fulfilled her dream. I never understood what she was really on about when we were younger. How she talked about the future; she was four years older than me, and I was five when I met her...although a smart five-year old at that. We grew up together, and she was my best friend...and then one day, she was gone. No goodbye, and no communication for five years. I blamed myself, but eventually I grew to not care, and I acted like I forgot about her, but I never did. "Oh Alec, you have grown up so much - she smiled; looked towards the building, and then became serious - Magnus seemed pretty angry. What happened?"

"Nothing."

She sensed that I wasn't going to say anything else, and she got out of the car. Before she closed the door she cheerily spoke:

"Don't be a stranger around here Alec!"

I watched as her slow retreating silhouette went inside the house. I quickly started up my car, and pulled out of the drive way.

* * *

I was tired. Not sleepy, but emotionally drained. There was no music; it was just silence. The once happy atmosphere had dissolved, and I was alone once again. The silence was deafening; deciding not to go home, or to any of my friends. I went to the only other place I knew would accept me. I drove to the run down house on the 'bad side' of town; parked, and used the key that I acquired on my third visit here. My heart was thudding wildly; out of fear or anticipation, I didn't know. As soon as I opened the door; the smell hit me. The bittersweet, somewhat intoxicating scent invaded my nose. I gulped in this air, I loved this. The smell of alcohol was everywhere, and the smoke smelt distinctively like cannabis, or some drug I hadn't had yet. My head was spinning around the new scents. I joined the small circle of people; who were all in some state of getting high. I looked at the front door; this was my chance to run away, and pretend I didn't give into my addiction.

I turned back, and I looked into the onyx eyes of Mr. V Morgenstern. I looked away quickly. It was a rule in his house; you never look him in the eyes. Mrogenstern, who we all called Morgan, got up from his seat. He had short clipped white blonde hair, and was very silent, unless you did something he didn't like. He moved from the dulling green chair, and gestured for me to sit. When I did; he threw me a small bag full of injection needles. I gulped, and asked quietly:

"What's this?"

"Something I think you'll like; if you do I'll give you some before you leave. Just remember I want the money by the end of this month."

His voice was flat, emotionless, and a tad angry. I sunk into the chair, and the looks of hunger crossed over many of the faces in the room. Some were drinking vodka, some -like the cluster in the corner - were smoking; other were snorting, or shooting up. I whispered to the man beside me; whose face was full of want, and desperation:

"What is this?"

He chuckled, but then he replied in a low, gravely voice.

"Mexican mud, Junk, what ever you want to call it. That's good stuff. Morgan must _really_ like you."

I gasped quietly, and racked my brain for answsers. It slowly dawned on me. _Heroin._ It will make me feel weightless, and free, and it will make me forget, and I won't feel anymore. I slightly smiled. _Fuck it. I came here to fo__rget about my problems. _I opened the plastic bags, with the needles inside it and with shaking hands: I started the prossess that the druggie inside me knew so well.

I leaned back in the chair, and waited. After about ten minutes, everything started getting bright, and I felt warm. Like a small fire was inside me, warming me up from head to toe. I felt relaxed; more than I have in a long time, it washed over me, and I began to get sleepy. My body didn't feel like I was controlling it, I wasn't in control, but I was okay with it. I let the drug over take me, and eventually I fell into a fitful sleep; in Morgensterns chair, completely relaxed, with no pain at all, and with no thoughts of Magnus or Beautiful green eyes full of angry ans hurt.

* * *

**A/N: I think this chapter was a bit rushed. Did it come across like that? Or was it fine?**

**Anyway Do you want smut later on?  
**

**And ahhh this was painful to write. I just wanted to give Alec a huge hug. :C  
**

**Songs:  
**

**Adam Lambert - Fever  
**

**Culture Club - I'll tumble 4 ya  
**

**Nickleback - Lullaby  
**

**Adam Lambert - Naked love  
**

**Hope you liked  
**

**Review ? :)****  
**

**- Sarah xox  
**


	15. Sweetness is sometimes bitter

**A/N: I'm back after a very long, very great break but I am now finally back, and will try to update regularly. You all deserve it for being so patient with me. Well; this may be the longest chapter I've done, but this a bit of a bribe for you all. :)**

**Thank you to all of you reading this!  
**

**Special ****thanks to: lovingbites, , mychemicalbitchbot, Malec1D, babyphat5958, and my guest. Thanks for your reviews, imput, and keeoping my spirits up! :)**

**I'm not sure this will be any good, because I haven't wrote anything in such a long time!**

* * *

_**Chapter 15: Sweetness is sometimes bitter**_

* * *

_(AlEc PoV)_

Blinding sunlight semi-blinded me when I came to. My neck painfully hurt, and my entire body felt stiff and heavy. No-one was in the room, and I couldn't hear any sign of life. For whatever reason; my fingers itched for the bottle of Jack Daniels on the table in front of me. Sluggishly I lifted myself out of Morgenstern's chair. Throwing some twenty-dollar bills onto the table; I hastily moved towards the door, making sure to avoid any articles of clothing that littered the floor. Peering both ways before exiting the rotting motel room that Mogenstern permanently resided in; I moved towards my car. I didn't start it up straight away, but just sat there instead and thought about everything.

_I didn't have any control anymore. I've given in, and now I'll never return to the normal world. My father hates my very existance, my mother couldn't care less, my siblings want to change me, my crush hates me, my ex is twisting the past, and my friends...are all fake. I don't think anything is truly right anymore_. I sighed deeply, and relaxed a little into the familiar leather seat. My life was becoming a slow spiral towards becoming the person I feared most. I lifted the sleeve of my jacket up to my elbows, and traced the faint scars that littered around my pale flesh. The painful reminders of how much of a screw up I was. I needed to get away. From this, from my life, from this city. I chuckled a little with no feeling, and then went through the memorized process of driving home, and acting normal. I wanted to leave this city cage, but the only place I could think of going to was the one place I loathed. I didn't care if he was there or not; I _wanted _to go home, curl up inside my mothers embrace and cry, but I knew that wouldn't happen, even if I could dream. One thing was certain; there was no going back now. I had crossed that thin red line towards the darkness, and I was going to need another hit before the day was through.

The wind whipped through my hair, my eyes were focused and watering, but I wasn't really paying any attention. I couldn't tell you what that road sign I passed had written on it. The same things did somersaults around my mind; small flips and jumps in a strict formation. I was Alec Lightwood; high school bad boy, top dog, local drunk, and the most fucked up kid in town...but, somehow the complicated, slightly Indianian, brightly dressed boy had gotten under my skin, and had tried - on so many occasions - to strip each and every wall that I had built around myself. To make everything worse for me and my love-sick crush on said boy; he had to run into my ex, and that bastard had to tell him about our history, and twist every detail around, so that it made me out to look like the bad guy. It was probable that I could pass out and crash my car anyway; I shut my eyes briefly, before opening them glowing orbs again, and speeding down the dusty road towards the house I planned on staying in for the next week...or two.

* * *

_(MaGnUs PoV)_

_Damn you Alec! Fucking with my feelings, and then tossing them aside! How dare you try to cover up for yoursel__f! _I stopped myself from thinking about the bastard anymore, and tried to focus on the words the teacher was saying. His words refused to wrap around my mind, and I snuck a glance towards the space next to me. He still hasn't been in school. It's been nine days now; I don't want to admit it, but I kind of miss him. Everytime I go to the bathroom; I'm silently hoping he's in there. When I'm listening to Adam in the canteen, I'm wishing I was playfully having a mini 'saxy face' war with Alec across the hall. I just wish he was here so I could apologise.

Everyday he wasn't here; I was finding it harder, and harder to hate him. I wanted to hate him with every fiber of my being, but it was impossible, and I secretly wonder where the hell he is. Rumours have gone around; that he has moved back in with his family, others have said he's gone back to Juvie. I don't know what to believe, and I don't know if I should believe anything anymore. When I'm alone, and all my thoughts come crashing around me, I think that maybe I don't miss _him. _His presence, or maybe his prowling bright eyes is most likely. The deep blue, splashed with specks of gold, and ocean blue; depending on his mood, seem more alive and bright. I sigh into complete oblivion and ditch my last failed attempt to listen to Mr. Groves' lecture. I stopped tapping the end of my pencil on the desk in an un-rymthmic beat, and began to draw _his _eyes.

"They're really good y'know,"

I looked up towards the voice in utter confusion. No one in this room particularly liked me, and tried to speak to me as little as possible. I've down played everything about myself, so they don't get blinded by my fabulousness. A girl in front of me with bright auburn hair smiled shyly at me. My mouth dropped into and 'o' shape, before I schooled my features and replied:

"I don't know what you're on about, they're pretty rubbish,"

* * *

**A/N: I have seriously needed to update for you all. So here is a shortish chapter, and I'll try my best to update A LOT more regularly. I'm super-duper sorry for the lateness.**

**Read, Review?**

**~Sarah xx**


	16. About him

_**A/N: This is the last time I promise something, and don't stick to it. I'm going to work out a schedule.**_

_**So; I'm going to post a new chapter ever fortnight, on either Friday, Saturday or Sunday. **_

_**^^ I'm finally going to be punctual^^**_

_**Anyway; a lot of music helped me write this, **__**Of Mice & Men and Fall Out Boy mostly aha.**_

* * *

_**Chapter 16: About him..**_

* * *

(MaGnUs PoV)

_Dear diary,_

_Sometimes when I'm alone, I think that maybe Alec is avoiding school on purpose, but then I hear what Simon said Alec's sister said about him, and then I get confused. How me and Alec left things were pretty bad, and I want to be his friend...but I don't know the right words to say._

_Normally I know what to say, and how to act...but lately I've been stuck on everything. I would openly admit in front of his gang of cronies that _**I** _Magnus bane **am **_**sorry**. _I don't know what he wants, or if he wants it. Simon said that on friday him, and Clary are going to go over to the Lightwoods' place. I wonder if I'm allowed to come with Simon. I know I'm not very close with Izzy, or Clary, and the most I can stand of Jaces sarcasm before wanting to slap him silly is ten minutes tops, but I want to see if these rumours are correct, and talk to Alec (if he's there) From what I gathered; people are more interested in his life than they are their own. _

_I miss him a lot though, and at the moment any excuse to see him would be great. If, and when I see him; he'll probably scream and shout, or maybe he would be silent and ignore me. Most likely the latter; I can't see Alec yelling, and waving his hands around like a mad man yet. _

_I need an excuse..._

_Love Magnus Bane; aged 17_

Shutting the old journal I sighed. My legs had gone numb, and my heart ached silently. The slow out-of-rythem beats were my sad tune of my past relationships, and my feelings now. I craved companionship, after all; everyone else has left me. I let my self fall into a semi-star fish position on my bed, and sighed. Closing my eyes; I wished for all the memories, pain, and heartache to go away, but they all stubbornly stayed put.

**'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in  
**

Simon came into our room singing, and slammed the door. I hastily sat up, looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and chuckled to myself. It seemed rather fitting, and I never would have thought of Simon, of all people to burst into a room singing a song.

**So shame on me now  
****Flew me to places I'd never been  
'Till you put me down, oh  
I knew you were trouble when you walked in  
So shame on me now**

Simon twirled around our room. Being carefully to not trip over my clothes from earlier; his arms doing the macarenna. Still singing badly.

**Flew me to places I'd never been  
Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground  
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble**

Finishing on trouble; he ripped his earphones out of his ears, and proceeded to throw his hands up in the air, doing the sign of rock'n'roll. He turned around, and looked at me with a playful grin, and I crossed my arms disapprovingly.

"Thank you! Thank you; my fabulous audience, your patients has been rewarded!"

He bowed, and then threw himself onto his bed. I think he even drooled slightly.

"...and the point of that was?"

"To impress you with my awesome skill of singing!"

He turned around, and punched the air. I gave him a smirk. Two could play this game.

"Yes! Your singing was fabulous-"

He gave me a hopeful smile.

"-for a strangled cat."

I grinned, and started to clean up my mess. He pouted at me, and grabbed his guitar.

"Why must you be so mean?"

I dropped my clothes into the hamper, and darkly replied:

"Because I am."

Simon; - for a while - can make me forget things, but it was still fresh in my chest. Everything hurt; I just wanted to go to sleep. Before I lost my nerve; I turned around and faced him.

Simon with skilled hands; was tuning his bass guitar. Each of his fingers working over the keys that tighten the strings with practised ease. I swallowed a lump in my throat, and sat down beside his bed on the floor; with my back leaning against the edge of it. I sighed at the relief of how easy that was, and then listened to the notes Simon played every few minutes. My heart hammering hard and heavy in my chest.

"Si? Can I come with you on Friday?"

Simon was silent for a few moments. It was weird having him so quiet; without him making any noise what so ever. It scared me.

"It's about _him_, right?"

He didn't need to say his name. He knew who I was talking about, and I knew who he was talking about. I fiddled with my fingers nervously; mostly out of fear for what was to come. His friends didn't know me, and I was intruding on their time together. Slowly I was starting to think it was a bad idea to ask.

"Yeah.."

"Sure man! Join in the fun, but be careful when you beat Jace on Call of Duty okay?"

I looked up at him; wondering where the enthusiasm came from, and then proceeded to smile. Simon was okay with it, so everyone else would just have to get over it. I picked myself off of our room floor, and shuffled to my bed. I got my laptop from where I left it, opened up Google, and typed in one thing:

**Whats the best way to apologise to a guy for being a dick?**

* * *

(**SiM_oN_**pOv.)

When Magnus asked about _him;_ I didn't know what to say. If Alec wasn't such a douche; I would have been okay with Mags' being 'friends' with him, and wanting to see him for some reason, but I didn't understand _why _Magnus wanted to see him. I've only known Magnus since the start of Summer, but I knew a lot about the guy; considering I shared a room with him, and picked up on his certain..living arrangements. He had broke out of his 'lost puppy' shell like most of the kids here, but I don't think he is all here. It's almost as if part of Magnus was left in the place where ever he came from. I've seen small glimpses of the old Magnus many times.

For one; I've seen his wardrobe. Yet he wears nothing out of it. The wardrobe is plain white on the outside, but is full of all types of colours and styles of clothes; mostly leather, skin-tight shirts, and form-fitting boots, and sneakers. He doesn't wear any of it though, which I don't understand. He wears the pale colours, and the blacks..almost as if he doesn't want to attract attention to himself. I know he has a past, but...I just wish I knew what it was. It's fair though; it's not like I've told him about why I ended up here.

I looked over to him; he confuses me constantly, but he's the only family I have. He's not blood, but he's something.

He was all i needed in my life, to stop me from doing what my mother wanted to do to me...

* * *

(MaGnUs PoV)

Friday could not come quicker.

I know its cliché to keep singing 'Friday' by Rebecca Black..but I can't help myself. It's all I can keep singing to keep me sane until the last bell of the day rings.

_Seven a.m., waking up in the morning_  
_ Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs_  
_ Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal_  
_ Seein' everything, the time is goin'_  
_ Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'_  
_Gotta get down to the bus stop_

"Mags'!"

I stopped internally singing the terrible song, and opened my eyes to see five pairs of eyes looking at me. I then wondered if I had actually been singing out loud. I stopped that train of thought, and blushed.

"Yes Mags', you were,"

I threw a carrot stick at Simon; who surprisingly ate it. I raised my eyebrow at him, and he shrugged. Adam was trying to breathe across me, and had tears streaming down his flushed face. I blanched, and saw that almost everyone on the table was trying to hold in their laughter to some degree. I crossed my arms, and Jace laughed loudly next to Clary - who looked uncomfortable with the situation. I still hadn't apologised for being a douche the first time I saw her in class, but I pushed the thought to the back of my mind.

"I call dibs on playing COD when we get to my house!"

Jace announced; after everyone had gotten over my embarrassing singing. I grinned, and then remembered that Simon said not to beat Jace as he became a sad broken child, (my words not his) and to never beat Izzy on Mario Kart; he did once, and she wouldn't speak to him for a week.

The same guilty feeling washed over me again, and I stopped smiling. I was only coming with Jace, Simon, Izzy, and Clary, because I wanted to see Alec. I was so fucked up.

* * *

**A/N: DOne! Now I can think on how to do the next chapter!**

**ReViEw?**

**- SArah xxx**


	17. Sorry

I'm really sorry to all you dedicated readers of this.

I really am. Things have gone on, I've lost documents, and I've lost interest in writing this.

I've started and will complete a new fanfic called Star Cross'd, so that will keep me writing, and get back into the swing of things, then I'll re-write, and update TSABP.

Honestly I have no idea where the plot is going anymore, so I'll focus on my new one for a while.

SO for now I am officially on hiatus on this story.

~ Sarah xx


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